NEW LIFE = NIGHTMARE (Part Five)

Seriously...
I don't know what is wrong with this family...
Or should I say what is wrong with me?
I just DISLIKE everything they do recently...
Maybe because of the incident cause by his sister...

Here goes the story...
Well, his mother's situation is not that stable...
Because maybe he can't accept that her father passed away...
So, she is now in Penang for quite a time...

Before his grandfather passed away...
She was already getting a depression...
So, his father have no choice but to sent his wife home...
It means that the house left us three and them four...

It was okay...
I don't mind tidying up the house and doing some chores...
But, every time I do it...
I GUARANTEE you that it won't last a second...
The next thing you come back...
The house is a MESS again...
WTH!!!

When this happen...
I swear to God that I won't going to clean up the mess again...
Just let it be...
And all his father and brother did was say her...
No action at all...
Since like that...
So I thought...
Who am I to scold her?
Her family also don't want to bother anymore...
Why should I?
Waste my time and energy...
I just hope that my dearest son won't be like her...

And there was the other thing to pissed me off is that...
I really try very hard to forget it and forgive her...
But...
To tell you the truth...
I CAN'T!!!

The story starts on one day she went it to my room to play with Little King...
Then she saw the "SPONGE-BOB"(the thing to tie your hair in a different shape) packet...
Then, she asked that if she could borrow...
At first, I just IGNORE her and PRETEND I didn't heard her...
But she just kept asking...
And that ANNOYED me...
So I agreed to borrow her...
And give it back to me on Friday night...

On Friday night...
I saw the SPONGE-BOB was TIED to a racket...
And she was asleep in the living room...
I was like...
WTF...
A nice SPONGE-BOB...
And it was SUPPOSE TO BE ON YOUR HAIR NOT A RACKET!!!
I was seriously very angry that night...
And my hubby become the victim of my anger...
I'm sorry...

Because I had to work on Saturday...
So hubby bought me the SPONGE-BOB to let me tie my hair easily...
It was a surprise gift from him and it is very special to me...
And on that day...
When I wanted to use it...
I found it BROKEN...
DAMN!!!

I wake him up quickly...
And he become my victim again...
How am I supposed to go to work without it...
And as I mentioned...
This is a special gift from him...
How could she...
Until now, I'm so DAMN angry about it...
Even though that he bought me another new one...
But the original meaning wasn't there anymore...

After that...
I totally IGNORE her...
And won't let her play with Little King...
I am cruel I know...
But when you mess with me and didn't even apologize...
There's your consequences!!!

After that...
On Monday...
Because she have school...
She went in to my room and take the SPONGE-BOB from my room herself early in the morning...
She must have thought that I didn't know...
I just don't want to waste my energy and scold her plus waking up my Little King...
And the way she act...
Reminds me again that...
What his mother said to me few months ago...
She said : " 你读了那么多年的书，你妈妈你老师就没有教你什么是道德吗？"
And look what her precious daughter DID...

I won't be able to forgive because I don't have a BIG heart...
And I won't be able to forget how you hurt my heart so DEEPLY...
I just hope that the SCAR you guys make won't get infected or get worst...

Here...
I feel deeply sorry that I didn't went back to be in mourning...
Because I can't left Little King alone with my mother again...
I don't want to trouble her so much...
Plus Little King is having fever because he had injection...
I need to take care of him...
I don't want to know how they feel or think...
Because it makes me feel guilty for not going back...
It makes me feel like I'm disrespect...

To dear Grandfather of Lun...
Although we didn't have so much time spending with each other...
But I think that you are a strong and a great man indeed...
Because you suffered from lots of illness...
Please do protect Big Lun and Little King with all your mighty powers...
Thank you...
We will be missing you...
Me and Little King will visit you whenever the time allows us to...

P/S : Given up to clean the mess that you guys made in the house...
It's time for you guys to realize that after making SHITS you have to clean it on your own...
By the way, looking for a NEW house and I hope I didn't as soon as possible...
And I found a NEW job...
It was home-based data entry...
Had to wait their calls...
Seriously hope that they call me as soon as possible...
Seriously need money for living... ><''

如果不坚强，懦弱给谁看？

夏至过后，气温急剧升高，整个身体似乎处于脱水状态，迫切地渴望水源，却始终孤立无缘，不可救赎。降水少得可怜，大地被火辣的日光残忍的撕开了无数的口子，喝泥水的孩子用眼神诉说着自己的委屈和期盼，我用最后的残存的力气坚守着自己的梦想和期待。

人 的一生如此短暂，人的生命又如此的渺小，我们能该变的太少太少，很多时候，我们能做的只有无奈的接受，很多事情，也只能随风而去，那些青春年少时的天马行 空早已支离破碎，甚至连零星的碎片也无从追寻；岁月如同手中的细沙，越是握得紧越容易失去，终于我不再年轻，年龄渐渐的写在脸上，留下了流年的痕迹，我开 始想珍惜自己所爱的一切，可始终不能接受不喜欢的东西，依然不能强颜欢笑，快不快乐都暴露无遗，过着最真实的日子。。

从成 人开始，就应该学会独立，不能躲在父母的羽翼下逃避困难，因为他们的银丝提醒着我们，父母老了，将来我们要用强壮的臂膀来守护，把责任放在肩上，并且一无 反顾。人最后只有一个结果—死亡，谁也逃不掉，从生到死的过程里，还得拼命的折腾，如果我懂得了苦难不可避免，还会那么害怕吗？如那不可逃脱的死亡一样， 勇敢的面对，或许趟过了痛苦的河流，就能到达幸福的彼岸，人真的很需要信仰，死至不渝的坚信一些东西，例如，头破血流还在梦想的路上颠沛留离，记得对自己 说：坚持就是胜利；心力交悴也要在真爱未来的时候爱惜自己，鼓励自己：在下一个转角就会遇见。真的，一切不可能随心所欲，人生更不可能一帆风顺，要么坚持 到底，要么永不放弃，我们别无选择，因为我们的生命只有一次。

绝望来临的时候，我会封闭自己，任其自生自灭，我倔强的把坚 强表现出来，我从来都不认为自己是一个内心脆弱外表坚强的女子，我有足够的能量去承受苦痛，我不怕失去任何东西，却又偏执于失去之物，总是觉得只有时间才 能证明一切，如那陈香老酒，越是久远，味道就越是醇香，可是我忽略了时间还可以冲淡一切，没有把事物一分为二来看待。我不知道身为一个女子喜欢冒险到底好 不好，我喜欢选择艰难的路，而且无怨无悔，尽管时常伤痕累累。

生活不相信眼泪，我深信不疑，以致我认为流泪是软弱的表现，所以不轻易掉泪，尤其是人前，最后，我知道了真正的坚强不是不流泪，而是自己亲手拭去眼角的泪滴，随即展开笑容。如果觉得苦，就痛快的哭出声吧，男人哭吧都不是罪，何况是女子？

如果不坚强，懦弱给谁看？没有人可以拯救谁，只有自己才是自己的救世，没有不好的人，只有不好的心态，我不知道未来会怎么样，我只知道，无论怎么样，我都不怕。