NEW LIFE = NIGHTMARE (Part Eleven)

Gosh...
Finally got the time to write this...
As I was saying...
My son's father had his depression...
And this time last about a week...
He is now closely to a normal him already...
But still...
Pissed me off even more than I can stand...
All I can say is...
MEMANG BEH TAHAN!!!

About his depression...
I have no comments on it because it is beyond my control...
Even the 伍公佛祖 also have no comments about it...
But...
Last night I have something to comment about...
F*** YOU!!!

Baby King is crying out loud and I don't know what is happening...
And all he do is that lying on the bed and shut his eyes...
Can't you just console your son even know that he don't want you to hug him?
Everything also I have to do...
Luckily last night his sister have not went to bed yet...
So she did helped me a lot on making the medicine to console my Baby King...
Appreciated... =)

Then...
His father...
I know I'm not suppose to comment about his life plus it is not my house...
But...
What the hell is wrong with him?
Watch TV until late night is not a sin...
But turning the volume UP until in my room also can hear what the characters in the movie are talking...
Hello...
I have class the next morning...
I am lacking of sleep because your son don't want to help out...
And your grandson was not in a very comfortable condition...

Ya...
My dear Baby King...
Sick again...
The close friend of his came to visit him once more...
Haiz...

Seriously...
Am repeatedly asking myself why?
Why do I have to face this?
All of this?

Quarrel with my mum because I need always went to work and leave Baby King to her...
Quarrel with my mum because I overslept and not attending class due to work late the previous night...
Quarrel with my mum because I don't know...
That's how we communicate?
LOL!!!

P/S : I begged you to let me leave you whenever I wanted to...
Because I just want a way out from you and your family...
It's stressing me out...
I am so sorry to say that I don't like to follow the Rules and Regulations of your family...
Even know that you told me that no one in your family is going to like me after all the things I did...
I DO WHAT I LIKE!!!

The Black Formal Wednesday...

Yes...
Coming back to the Wednesday that I was talking about in the previous post...
Here goes...

That day...
I woke up quite early because I mistaken taught that the class was in the morning session...
On the way to the college...
It was weird that I had never received any SMS from this close friend of mine...
Normally she is the one who came the most early and tell us what classes are we in...

Then...
The moment I went up to the 6th floor to look at the schedule...
OMG!!!
My class was in the afternoon session...
So...
With nothing to do...
I started to do the itinerary comparison to Cambodia and...
I go McD to buy the buy 1 free one promotion nuggets...
Because the other close friend of mine wasn't in the mood due to some reason...
I bought the nuggets taught that it would cheer her up...
But...
She doesn't want to eat at all...
It was kind of a disappointment for me...
But anyway come to think of it...
She didn't put a gun to me and force me buy so end of story...

Then...
The RSC members had meeting so I went to the classroom myself...
It was seriously very cold...
Way too cold in the room...
And I sat in the front row of the classroom...
Because the lecturer that taught us was not a very good in lecturing so I taught I sit in front in order to let myself pay attention as I am have NO INTEREST when in comes to the word MARKETING...

When break...
She, the close friend of mine that scolded me...
Started to say that everyone moved to the front and only left her and the other at the back (second row)...
*First of all...
People like to sit where ever they like according to their needs, wants and mood...
You can't control that...
Then...
She say every time she choose the coldest place to sit is because she wanted us to sit together in a row and because of we are scare of cold...
*Second of all...
I know that you are a considerate girl...
You sit the coldest place is because you care about us...
I get it...
But if you were cold...
You can choose not to sit that place...
And I never force you to do so...
Then...
She scolded me that I didn't think of others when I sat on people's place...
*HELLO!!!
There are no names and no rules state that from the beginning of the class where ever you sit it will be your place until the 2 years course finish...

Seriously, I can't think of the thing that I do was a mistake...
The way you scolded me seriously broke my heart and make me think of the incident way back from my secondary school...
Plus, you make me cry for the whole session of the class after break with lack of tissues...

The incident that happened in my secondary years was...
There is this once very very close friend of mine...
We can't continued to be friends is because that she taught that I had do something to let her boyfriend to leave her...
Then...
After all these drama...
She finally found out that I had nothing to do with it and the reason that her boyfriend wanted to leave her is because he found another girl...
Then...
She wanted to make it up with me and so she just act nothing happened and say she forgive me...
WTF!!!

Of course it was too late...
My heart seriously had broke in to pieces...
**No one ever knows the pain that is unless he/she had been through it...
After this, I had not been to school for about 3 to 4 months because I don't want to see her and cried again...
And the silly thing I did was I cut my hand...

And it leave a scar there forever to always remind me of the things that she put me through...

This time...
It was not about any relationship problem but instead of because that I've moved to the front row...
Am not going to be that stupid to cut my hand again...
And not going to college for classes...
Because college is not the same as secondary school...
Once you missed the class and that's it...
Am not going to sacrifice again...
Because I need a good grad to get a good job in order to let my family and my son to live in a better live...

But...
I will do as I said...
I will sit at the back from now on...
No matter I can hear what the lecturer is talking about or not...
Because from the time being...
I am hurt, I am stress and I am stubborn...

P/S : Sitting behind doesn't mean that I am still angry or what ever...
I just saw the message that you sent today when break...
And I am happy to hear that the bulat is chasing you?
Congrats... Take the opportunity for not being single anymore and experience the love life for once is good for your health and soul too... =)

Ups and Downs...

Here I am blogging again...
Seriously have no idea who and how to express my feelings during this ups and downs week of mine...

For starters...
My son's father start his depression around Monday...
Then...
Been scolded by a close friend of mine on Wednesday...
Later...
Received the prize that I've won in the contest on Thursday...

Any further information about my Monday and Wednesday...
Will blog if when i have the mood later on...

About Thursday...
Early in the morning had woke up because had to accompany Lyn to Maluri Jaya Jusco...
The reason that she wanted to be there so early is because that it is the LAST day of member's day...
And OMG!!!
So many damn nice T-shirts and shoes were on 70% sales...
And I am broke and couldn't buy anything...
Then...
We went to PDI where Lyn bought me a T for my early birthday present... ^^

And mum agreed to bought something for me too...
And I choose to buy a flat white sandal...^^

Thanks mum and sis for the T and the sandal... x)

NEW LIFE = NIGHTMARE (Part Ten)

Ya...
I admit that I was wrong checking his messages...
But...
When a woman got a feeling of doing so...
That's mean there is something not right...

I checked his phone just now...
And guess what shocking things I found out...
He had phone sex with another girl named 欣怡...
WTH...

Ya...
I know that we are going to divorce sooner or later...
But...
Not now...
We are still husband and wife...
Phone sex?
No wonder he was in the toilet for so damn long yesterday night...

My feeling now are complicated...
On one side I feel a little sadness...
And on the other I think I can sue him for doing that...
And maybe get some 赡养费 from him after we divorce...
And maybe I'll have Baby King's custody...
And...
Back to reality...

Of course...
I was dumb enough not to send all the messages over to my phone the moment I saw those messages...
It was truly shocking for me...
And now...
He deleted all the evidence even the contact number of the girl...
WTF!!!

Let's pray that he do it again and I won't be so dumb for the next time...
**Fingers cross...**

P/S : I won't cry...I won't cry...I won't cry...I won't cry...I won't cry...I won't cry...I won't cry...I won't cry...I won't cry...I won't cry...
Good luck on my final tomorrow... =(

NEW LIFE = NIGHTMARE (Part Nine)

BEH TAHAN!!!
MEMANG BEH TAHAN ALREADY!!!
ISH!!!

What the hell...
Your parents as usual went back to Penang without saying a word or giving any hint...
Yet still say me don't have moral?
BULLSHIT!!!

That action of yours makes me feel more and think more that I'm not one of the family...
Seriously...
I don't feel I am anymore...
So don't blame me if I was planning to leave...

Today was the day where we celebrate 端午节...
Mum knew that nobody is going to cook for the two of you and she asked to join us for dinner...
You promised to come a couple of days ago...
And look what you did to pissed my family...
First...
You should have give me a SMS say that you are still working after your afternoon shift ends which is on 9.30pm...
Or if you couldn't call my phone at least try to call my mum, my sister or my house phone and inform...
All of this...
Common sense and it is a basic courtesy that a person should have...
Guess what...
Your parents have mouth to say me but they didn't taught their children to do so...
WTF!!!

Second of all...
Because of you telling me that you are bringing your brother here to eat...
Mum cooked a lot of rice and a lot of dishes just for the both of you...
And look what you did?
My sister can't eat the curry fish just mum want to save it for you...
And when it is almost about 12am...
My mum asked my sister and she don't want to have it anymore because it is very late already...
And there goes the curry fish!!!

Third...
Because of you always so late come to pick me and baby King up...
Mum set a rule on not allowing anybody in and out after 12am...
And what you did these few days didn't impress my family or me at all...
You just make the things even worst...
Just the night before yesterday...
I told you that I wanted to go home early so that I can wash my hair, have a bath, do some revision and some data entry...
I even had an agreement with mum to take care of baby King for the night so that I can have the time to help you guys to fold that mountain of clothes which your mother left before leaving...
But you...
You are too late when you came here...
Seriously I don't know what you all are doing during that time...
Mum had locked all the gates...
And chased all of us to sleep...
Even so...
I still am laying on the bed and waited for at least a SMS or a phone from you...
I fell asleep...
The next morning I checked...
I was hoping that there is at least 1 or 2 calls or SMS from you...
But that disappoint me a lot...
Not a single call or message on my phone screen...
WTF!!!

And then...
The previous night...
If you are going to be late...
Can't you please SMS me or give me a call?
What are you doing with the new phone that you got for RM 300 right after you got your salary?
Playing games or communicating with people?
WTF!!!

Every night have to watch TV until late at night...
Then...
Play phone games until the next morning only sleep...
Who the hell do I marry with?
A 21 years old children?
It's not that a sin that you play phone games...
The problem is you don't want to help by keep an eye on baby King while I am working home trying to get extra income in order to make our lives better...
How could you throw all the work to me?
You are the husband or I am the husband?
I am suppose to feed you or you are suppose to feed me?
WTH!!!

Going to have dinner with your brother and cousin at Connaught...
That place where you were going was not cheap at all...
And you asked me whether I want to go or not...
I said no because I wanted to finish the data entry as soon as possible...
I told you buy something for me and guess what you say...
I DON'T HAVE MONEY...
WTF!!!
I am starving to death as my mum didn't cook previous night...
Then...
I just go to the kitchen to have some biscuit and sky juice...
You have money to spend on petrol going to Connaught to eat...
You have money to spend on expensive dinner...
You have money to pamper yourself to buy a new phone...
But when I asked money from you to buy pampers and medicine...
You said : Can I pay you back next week?
You know what?
I WANT A DIVORCE IMMEDIATELY!!!

Seriously...
I don't know why the hell I marry you the first place...
(Of course as you guys know, I just wanted his father's name in the baby's birth certificate...)
Now most of all the things are mostly paid by my mum...
All I know now is...
MUM IS THE BEST!!!
She helps me take care of baby King even know she just had her surgery...
I am so grateful to have her as my mum...

Speaking of the surgery...
I told you that she is having her surgery...
Any yet, as a son-in-law...
Shouldn't you at least asked how is she doing or buy something for her?
You just acted like you don't know!!!
That is how your parents taught you right?

And as I said...
Mum lock the gates after 12am...
Ya...
I know you had come...
You called...
Mum is angry...
She ordered us not to pick up the phone...
She is the boss...
Of course we have to listen to her...
And yet...
You climb into our gate...
You think this is very cool is it?
You could have get caught if there is police petroling around the area...
As what you did...
You scared the hell of me and my family...
You make my mum even more pissed!!!

I am not going back with you and you ask for it!!!

一旦傷害了，那就將永遠彌補不回來...

每个人的一生中都会有许多重要的事！

在我生命里，
除了家人朋友，
对我最重要的莫过于是一场婚礼！

从求婚到摆酒，
每一点一滴我都希望它是完美的，
无瑕疵的！

可是偏偏在这么重要的日子中，
所有的一切一切对我来说，
只有三个字：糟透了！

大着肚子结婚，
婚纱自然没有那么多的选择！

其实不是最近聊到，
我都不知道，
当天晚上两家人来我家谈我们两的事的时候，
是叫做提亲！

两家人的第一次见面，
迟到，
又没告诉对方有谁会出席，
这叫不尊重！

自己跟孩子的爸爸商量好要生完才结婚，
可是孩子的爸爸却没出声说半句，
一个怀孕的女人，
哪来的勇气与体力去反抗呢？

自己想要的解决方法，
对于传统思想的长辈们，
他们是不会接受的！

孩子我要生，
毕竟他是一个小生命，
但婚我不想结！

谈完了，
就要准备送聘礼的时候了！

送聘礼时，
又迟到！
这算有诚意吗？

结婚是要买新家私，
我也不明白为什么！
买家私，
他妈说本来女方就应该买家私的，
可她说她不计较，
就出钱买了！

我心想：你不买我也没逼你！

结婚当天，
时间安排得好好的，
帮我弄头发的阿姨走了两个钟，
帮我化妆的是他的亲戚才来，
化的妆又花了两个钟！

本来结婚当天，
要迎娶新娘的新郎本应就该给姐妹玩个够啊！
可他又迟来耽误了时辰！

本来这不应该提的人，
我也忍不住想在此大骂了！
他就是我的姐夫，
听姐妹说不是你在那边讲东讲西的，
他们早就玩得很开心了！

玩完了，
开门接新娘就应该给开门红包，
没钱就不要去我啊！
才给那RM0.88的开门红包！
又没有搞错？

没办法之下我只能忍下去！

到了要开车接新娘回去时，
新娘车却坏了！
从那一刻起，
我很相信这是天意！
天也许在给我时间反悔！
可是我却默默地坐在那边，
心不停的流泪！

车弄好了，
接新娘回去了，
一大班的亲戚等着我来敬茶！

敬到连大KAM姐也累了，
终于三点才结束！

然后又要跟他亲朋戚友争厕所冲凉!

当时在房间怀着的新娘，
肚子好饿好饿，
跟新郎说了，
他竟敢叫我自己下去拿！

下到去，
剩下的只有汁！

我和姐妹们饿到要死~

累了，
就小睡了一下！

一直担心会迟到的新娘，
都睡不着！

时间到了，
是该梳头化妆准备晚上的宴会的时候了，
问新郎化妆师呢？
在睡觉，
新郎却不会吵醒她！

等到她醒了，
冲凉换衣再为自己化妆，
准备好自己了，
第一时间却不是来跟新娘化妆，
而是跟他妈化妆弄头发！

都已经六点了，
新娘子才开始化妆弄头发！

途中，
他父母还要崔三崔四！
一个大肚婆动作稍微慢一点这都不可以体谅一下吗？
化完了弄完了，
照照镜子，
只看到一个奸妃！

还问OK吗？
当时已经八点了！
就算不OK也要说OK,
因为已经很迟了！

换衣服的时候，
我不明白的是，
为什么是他的小姨帮我换还叫我姐妹出去！

去酒家途中，
新娘只能偷偷的流泪！
心情很沮丧了！
去到那边已经九点了！
吃完了，
还要留下来，
强颜欢笑的跟他所有的亲朋戚友拍照！

试问一个这样糟的结婚回忆，
又谁要提起呢？

剩下来的结婚照拍不拍也罢了！
结婚已经是一个糟透的回忆！
拍了婚纱照，
如果某天再拿去来看，
坐在一旁流泪的只有自己！

这种种的情绪，
要一个怀孕的少女一人去承受，
到现在才来崩溃，
留着眼泪，
情绪不稳定的写这篇结婚记，
这位少女我认为，
她是最棒的！

也已到了忍无可忍的时候了！

P/S : I dare to post this, I'm not afraid of you anymore!

一旦傷害了，那就將永遠彌補不回來...

六十句

1. 人生就像一杯茶，不会苦一辈子，但总会苦一阵子。

2. 低头要有勇气，抬头要有底气。

3. 傻与不傻，要看你会不会装傻。

4. 幸福是可以通过学习来获得的，尽管它不是我们的母语。

5. 不要见一个爱一个，爱的太多，你的爱就要贬值。

6. 想完全了解一个男人，最好别做他的恋人，而做他的朋友。

7. 朋友就是把你看透了，还能喜欢你的人。

8. 当我们搬开别人架下的绊脚石时，也许恰恰是在为自己铺路。

9. 如果说我懂的道理比别人多一点，那是因为我犯的错误比别人多一点。

10. 不是每句“对不起”，都能换来“没关系”。

11. 世界上只有想不通的人，没有走不通的路。

12. 地球是运动的，一个人不会永远处在倒霉的位置。

13. 走的最急的是最美的景色，伤的最深的是最真的感情。

14. 在事实面前，我们的想象力越发达，后果就越不堪设想。

15. 当别人开始说你是疯子的时候，你离成功就不远了 ……

16. 你永远看不见我眼里的泪，因为你不在时我才会哭泣。

17. 时间就像一张网，你撒在哪里，你的收获就在哪里。

18. 如果我能够看到自己的背影，我想它一定很忧伤，因为我把快乐都留在了前面。

19. 理想和现实总是有差距的，幸好还有差距，不然，谁还稀罕理想？

20. 任何人都可以变得狠毒，只要你尝试过嫉妒。

21. 爱情就像攥在手里的沙子，攥的越紧，流失的越快。

22. 成熟不是心变老，而是眼泪在眼里打转却还保持微笑。

23. 做与不做的最大区别是：后者拥有对前者的评论权。

24. 人，长得漂亮不如活的漂亮。

25. 有些事，明知是错的，也要去坚持，因为不甘心；有些人，明知是爱的，也要去放弃，因为没有结局；有时候，明知没路了，却还在前进，因为习惯了。

26. 同样的一瓶饮料，便利店里 2 块钱，五星饭店里 60 块，很多的时候，一个人的价值取决于所在的位置。

27. 每个人出生的时候都是原创，可悲的是很多人渐渐都成了盗版。

28. 真坏人并不可怕，可怕的是假好人。

29. 浪漫是一袭美丽的晚礼服，但你不能一天到晚都穿着它。

30. 把一切平凡的事做好即不平凡，把一切简单的事做好即不简单。

31. 把不忙不闲的工作做的出色，把不咸不淡的生活过得精彩。

32. 情侣间最矛盾的地方就是幻想彼此的未来，却惦记着对方的过去。

33. 忙碌是一种幸福，让我们没时间体会痛苦；奔波是一种快乐，让我们真实地感受生活；疲惫是一种享受，让我们无暇空虚。

34. 理想很丰满，现实很骨感。

35. 爱情永远比婚姻圣洁，婚姻永远比爱情实惠。

36. 探索的旅程不在于发现新大陆，而在于培养新视角。

37. 一个人能走多远，要看他有谁同行；一个人有多优秀，要看他有谁指点；一个人有多成功，要看他有谁相伴。

38. 叹气是最浪费时间的事情，哭泣是最浪费力气的行径。

39. 不是人人都能活的低调，可以低调的基础是随时都能高调。

40. 谈恋爱就像剥洋葱，总有一层会让你流泪。

41. 年轻时候，拍下许多照片，摆在客厅给别人看；等到老了，才明白照片是拍给自己看的。

42. 就算不快乐也不要皱眉，因为你永远不知道谁会爱上你的笑容。

43. 当大部分人都在关注你飞的高不高时，只有少部分人关心你飞的累不累，这就是友情。

44. 绝口不提不是因为忘记，而是因为铭记。

45. 让未来到来，让过去过去。

46. 微小的幸福就在身边，容易满足就是天堂。

47. 成功有个副作用，就是以为过去的做法同样适应于将来。

48. 天使之所以会飞，是因为她们把自己看得很轻 ……

49. 试金可以用火，试女人可以用金，试男人可以用女人。

50. 喜欢一个人，就是在一起很开心；爱一个人，就是即使不开心，也想在一起。

51. 幽默就是一个人想哭的时候还有笑的兴致。

52. 咖啡苦与甜，不在于怎么搅拌，而在于是否放糖；一段伤痛，不在于怎么忘记，而在于是否有勇气重新开始。

53. 人之所以活得累，是因为放不下架子，撕不开面子，解不开情节。

54. 漂亮只能为别人提供眼福，却不一定换到幸福。

55. 美丽让男人停下，智慧让男人留下。

56. 人生最精彩的不是实现梦想的瞬间，而是坚持梦想的过程。

57. 忍无可忍，就重新再忍。

58. 付出真心，才会得到真心，却可能伤的彻底；保持距离，才能保护自己，却注定永远寂寞。

59. 废话是人际关系的第一句。

60. 有时候，不是对方不在乎你，而是你把对方看的太重。