NEW LIFE = NIGHTMARE (Part Thirteen)

OMG!!!
The title of my NEW LIFE = NIGHTMARE gets longer and longer...
By the time and if I can survive, not to divorce until it reach to 100...
I shall make publish it as a journal of my life...
LOL!!!

Well...
I don't remember what and where I had stopped even know I read the previous post...
Totally don't have any memories of it...
(or am I too lazy to refresh my brain)
Anyway...
Will update what is going on lately...

Oh Gosh!!!
Everything was so DAMN pack in my schedule recently...
Feel like a chain traffic accident occur...
Everything that is important to me CLASH all in a period of time...

Firstly...
My baby king of course...
He is teething again...
Need EXTRA attention on him...
Because during the period he will have fever and grab whatever thing and put inside his mouth...
And boy he is seriously very playful and naughty...
Can't say him naughty yet...
Can categorize him as he has a big curiosity...
Plus...
I am very very scare that he had Autism...
Because there is no one else free to play with him at my home...
(nowadays I am staying at my house)

Secondly...
My college things...
Our lecturer had gave us a presentation to do again...
As for my status now...
I am seriously feel very sorry to my group member as I feel like I don't contribute enough of the work on the presentation...
Well...
I really didn't do anything at all...
Besides on reading all the bunch of PDF files...
Not finding a clue of thing...
ISH!!! ><
Really DAMN mad at myself sometimes...

Thirdly...
Lun is having his depressing again...
I don't know this time what the hell is happening...
I asked him...
All he answered was...
NOTHING...
DON'T KNOW...
Well...
I have been having my period lately and my temper was not really that good...
Okay...
It was WORST than the real me...
Everything seems to PISSED me off since I had gave birth to baby king...
As I think and think and think of this issue whenever I walk, stand, taking trains or buses back home...
The result of it was...
I am not suitable for taking care or living with a person with sickness...
As myself is not a positive thinker and try not to be...
Because the result of it is DISAPPOINTMENT...
I can't bear with the feelings of feeling so and you have to stay strong and can't cry over the spill milk...
In the end...
I will keep it deep down and hide it until ONE DAY it BURST...

And because of Lun's depression...
There is another issue coming up again...
Well...
His parents of course need to find out what was going on...
So...
They call us for another lecturer session again...
And as usual a bunch of CRAPS talking...
And this time...
Through out the whole lecturing...
I looked at him all the time...
And didn't say a word about any of it...
Because I know if I let everything out without any evidence...
In the end is a waste of time, waste of energy and a waste of tears...

Both of his parents say that...
Don't look so far ahead...
Peacefully go through everyday of our life and there is enough...
OMG!!!
You want me to peacefully go through my life...
It means that MY LIFE = FLAT!!!
Oh shit!!!
Sorry to say that...
I am a risk taker...
I like adventurous stuff...
And the most important thing is I would like to do everything on my own if I have the time to learn it and understand it...
Besides this...
They did mention about moving away...
They say can slow slow find...
WTF!!!
I think that I bring him away from this house he's condition will be better...
The decision has been made...
I will still move out no matter he wanted to come along with me or not...
MARKED MY WORDS!!!

I know I am very stubborn...
So what...
This is me...

I only have few words to said to his parents :
清官难审家庭事，这是我们一家三口的事，我希望用我们自己的方法去解决！
你的儿子在你们的心目中永远都是一个好孩子，可是如果你们有机会读我的部落格（事实的全部），你们就不会这样想了！
你们不可以一直想要怎样保护自己的孩儿，应该放手让他们自己去闯，他们跌倒后，才会知道痛的滋味，这样他们才会把所经历的事情铭记于心！
不要说我说你们的不是，这其实是一个事实，伦会搞到这样的地步，是因为你们做父母的小小就把他关在家里，才会搞到他这样！

P/S: Oh God, if you really can hear me...
Please make him stop mumbling when he is sleeping...
I need some rest too...
I have still a part time training job have not done yet... ><''

放手...

什么是放手？

你不爱一个人了，
这不叫放手，
这叫放弃；
你移情别恋了，
这不叫放手，
最多只是转身就走。

相反，
爱一个人，
但发现（无论如何还是）相处不来，
唯有分开，这才叫做放手。

又或，
爱一个人，
但明白对方已经不爱自己了，
唯有忍痛退出，
也叫做放手。

《摘自某报纸的谋篇文章》

NEW LIFE = NIGHTMARE (Part Twelve)

I am seriously jumping with joy today because final exam results is OUT!!!
I got A- in my Front Office Procedure and Financial Accounting...
**CLAPS**

But thanks to Mr Chuah...
Thank you for ruin my day...

He suddenly message me that...

既然你没情，我何必对你有意，你不爱我孩子就归我，这早就说好的！
Through this, all I can say and think of is he married with me is because of the baby boy...
Plus, I didn't make any agreement on that statement...
你别说什么悔过书什么的！
Call you to write this regret letter is for you to think what have you done and is it right or wrong...
Plus a promise to me and baby king that you will not repeat the same mistake again...
你家经济能力不好还要供你姐妹读书，我看早已负债连连！
Well, this is my family problem...
You can't help any of that too...
在加上你们没有能力与时间顾孩子的环境下！
Like you have...
You everyday also got work...
Come back bath, eat dinner, play hand phone and watch television then sleep...
You where got time to play with your son?
All you do is throw baby to your mother to take care...
This kind of solution I won't so stupid to go and accept again...
Because the last last lecture from your father...
Told me that your mother would sit at home and think many many things such as why is she need to take care of baby king at home and I go out to work...
If like that her mother say she go out to work and I stay home to take care of baby...
**This kind of words make me think that you don't want me to study and work, you guys want me to stay at home to take care of baby...
Oh please, if you guys don't like me studying and working, then don't promise my mother in the first place to let me to finish my studies...
Sending him to the baby sitter is the best solution...
Baby sitter love him very much and all of their children treat baby king like their own brother...
Taught him to play, eat and talk...
你说法官会判孩子给你还是我！
I won't do things that I don't have confidence...
Even if I don't have any, I will still go on no matter what until I get what I want...
还有我和他的血缘才是正统的！
WHF does this mean?
... ... ...

共同抚养有很多方法，他还是姓蔡，就算你是他妈妈也没有权利独占他，除非你把我杀了，走你妈的后路或许有一丁点的希望可以让孩子转姓韦，这个月你就在你家，我在我家，你好好想想！
I didn't say anything about helping baby king to change his sir name...
He is still a member of the Chuah clan...
I didn't say that I want to owned baby king, you all can still visit him and play with him...
I also would like to stay at my mum's house, but my things are over there...
How am I going to go to college if my things are all over your house...
Stupid!!!
我不是逼你，只是想让你知道你所向往的自由会让你的未来付出残痛的代价！
All I know now is...
Leaving the you, I would be more happier, less worries and less stress...

**Redness = My thinking

WTF!!!
Seriously I don't know what and how to talk to him...
You guys be the judges this time...
Tell me what I should do?
Besides continue to 忍 him!
Totally no mood jor lor...
WTH!!!