Back Again...

As usual...
Am back here blogging again for after a few months...
Have no idea which and where am I labeling this post to...
I think I'll tag both...
But...
That is not important...
What I have to say on this post is important...

After the TWO not long not short but EXTREME years that I had gone through...
Now, come the part where I am heading to my CONVOCATION...
But...
Hold your horses MISS, you ain't going to get your Diploma not until you had go for your INDUSTRIAL TRAINING...

Well...
That is where am I now...
Industrial Training (IT) at the Prince Hotel and Residence Kuala Lumpur...
How the hell did I ended up here...
Oh well...
First, was planning to go Port Dickson (PD) for training as all the students in my college who choose hotel industry will be ending up there...
Then, because of lots of advises from my mother, from the sensei, and most importantly form my heart...

Although deep down inside I would rather be in PD with my friends...
Due to my situation on "Can't Let Go of My Baby King" issue...
I choose to have my IT at Kuala Lumpur (KL)...

And I told the person in charge I was going and decided to have my IT here at KL, she helped to spread the news as I have no idea where to do my IT...
Well, I actually have one...
But, I won't choose there as I had been there to do my part-time job for almost a year...
So I was thinking and hoping that there will be a NEW EXPOSURE to other hotels...

And weeks before my IT starts...
The Training Manager, Mr Raymond called and asked me for an interview and Hotel Orientation...
I was having my FINALS...
So I said I can't go for the Hotel Orientation...
Then, he asked whether that the following Saturday is suitable for me to go for the interview...
Due to I had a resit exam on that day...
So I just said I'll called him back after I re-confirmed with my guardian regarding the postponed of my resit exam and he gave me his handphone number to contact him...
Yes, the college approved the re-scheduled of my resit paper...
But then, when I called him for the re-confirmation of the interview...
Guess what, I called and called so many times that I couldn't count of...
I even borrowed my friend's phone to called and I am very thankful for that...
(Thanks Jayson - he has been a good friend)
In the end, I had to SMS him to reached him and get him to called me back...
Then, after a couple of days, he called and agreed on the Saturday interview...

And so, that is how we can finally meet...
(That is what you think!)
That glory morning...
I took the train and walked to the hotel to have the interview...
(And I will always remember that particular day as it was my guardian mummy's birthday and I almost had myself killed when I was crossing the road)
Guess what...
The busy manager, Mr Raymond had forgot all about me...
His colleague told me that he is on leave that day...
So, in the end, his colleague, Mr Alex interviewed me...
It was DISAPPOINTING and UPSET!!!
(Is this how you treat a new coming trainee?)

And so...
Without any calls that whether am I confirmed or not...
The person in charge in my college had to called to double confirmed regarding am I in or not...
And this is how and where all the BULLSHITS in my life begins...

Actually I do survey on that particular hotel...
And guess what feedback I got...
He said : -
If is about that hotel, then I will consider it as a middle class working environment. Is not so clean and benefit is around 4/10 rating. Learning out come considering the environment and people that work there, 5/10 rating because not much skill can be gain from that places due to high turn over stuff, and just too many empty cans around, making too much of noise! Management experience rating 7/10, get to learn bad and good stings about working with fakers! Overall rating I will consider it as a 5/10 rating, because the fruit that you will gain will not be anything more than an under ripe product!

What would you think after reading from this?
At first I thought that there maybe a silly misunderstanding of this...
But...
After getting your ass into there...
I had to agreed on all the words his said... 
Especially the word

"WORKING WITH FAKERS"!!!

Stay tuned on what my life would be in this hotel...
And so..
That begins my life of working SIXTEEN hours a day because I am having two jobs...
One is training at the hotel that I don't have a really good thing about it and the other is part-time barista in Starbucks...
 (Those who worked there before, got to admit that there is there BEST place to have your working experience!)

During my days of IT...
There was once that I could not figure it out that as somebody's wife, why I had to work until I got all the blaming and screaming and what so ever from my mum...
And yet...
The one that my child is calling daddy said nothing and do nothing but to enjoying his life of getting to work every single day, go home for dinner (as he don't want to eat what so ever I am cooking as he said that the dishes will spoiled after FIVE hours, and that is how the hell that your mother-in-law brought your wife and her two sisters up!!!), fetching me back from work (this is where I had to initially begged him to do so as Starbucks is giving additional RM8 for those who are working closing [for my store]!!!)...
This is his daily routine and when I was not working Starbucks for closing...
He would say that...
"OMG!!! I won't have anything to eat for the next day for breakfast..."
(Due to the promises that the customers of Starbucks will get FRESH foods daily, all those which can't be sold is being throw away.) 
You get the picture on what I would have to explain that why we have free breakfast...
So, how would you feel like when your husband is saying that particular sentence if you want to have a rest for the night?
Can anyone tell me what would you feel after reading what he had said to me?
Well, do you know what I feel?

IT WAS DAMN FRUSTRATING AS  I HAD TO BEGGED AND ASKING YOU TO FETCH ME BACK OVER MY TEARS AND IT WAS DISAPPOINTING!!!

This man that I called my husband, that my child called him father...
Is UNCUREABLE...
(If anyone found a solution, please oh please do share the antidote with me.)   

 I know I SHOULD NOT saying bad things about him and blogged it out to let everyone know...
But, besides blogging and getting feedback or comment from a friend or somebody around this world it may help to find antidote that I want...
Plus, who can I nagged to as I guess my friends are fed up on listening on what I had to express about him...
Sometimes, I just wanted to scream and bring my darling to somewhere and start over again...
Or maybe kick him out of the house...

Well, speaking of that issue...
There was once that I really, sort of kick him out of the house as we both have a really fierce fight...
And guess what...
He really do wanted to leave the house and go back home to his mother...
He is not a he...
As whatever he do and wanted to do also need his parents approval...
I think my son should call me DADDY instead of MUMMY...
But, in the end, I know that it looks ugly and I still need him for the baby sitter's fees...
So I called him back...
He went to sleep straight away leaving me hugging with my darling and cried...

Well...
THIS IS THE FACT OF A MARRIED TOO YOUNG LIFE!!!

And because of the "brain-stuck" of me getting two jobs and one is paid monthly and the other was paid after the completion of the your IT which will be six months...
I could not figure it out that why I had to go there for eight damn long hours doing something by my observation and no one there to teach me plus not even an offer letter or a proper orientation for me and no income...
So I took one week off myself...
And wrote a letter the reason that I am not be able to go to work...
I know it wasn't right to do so...
I actually could not even sleep for the whole DAMN week...

Due to this problem...
Mr Raymond wanted to see me...
It was the second day I changed to the Front Office Department...
All I could remember is that he told me that...
"This was unacceptable..."
Repeat it over and over again...
And the most pissed off thing he told me about...
"I remember very clearly that I had already told you that you can't take MC for more than two days."
This is when I nodded my head and told him that I don't know anything about it...
Well...
In the end, I cried as I feel so UN-invited, UN-welcomed and UN-wanted...
Because I worked for a month and I still have not signed any offer letter nor any invitation or information regarding the orientation...
And yet...
He was like blaming me for not going for the past orientation due to I had being ill and got a two days MC from the doctor...

And so...
He said he want to see me on his next orientation which will be on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th of May...
And yes, I did attend only the first day of the orientation...
And on that particular day...
As I was rushing to my part-time job, due to his lateness of the orientation, and my carelessness on walking a slippery floor because it was raining...
I SPRAINED my ankle 45 degree backwards to my shoulder at the timekeeper...
And I quickly got up as I think I was late...
Then I stopped at the side for a while to take out my umbrella as it was raining...
At first I didn't feel a thing beside it was getting more harder to walk as I can feel the pain while I am walking in the new KLCC bridge...
I stopped and asked the cleaner if there is a wheel chair for me...
And the cleaner said no...
So I asked again from the security and told him what had happened...
And his manager brought a wheel chair to me and sent me to the ground floor for a medical check up (it was called a security check up according to them) and a taxi ride home...
(Forgot to get his name though as he was rushing for another incident where his people needs him, he left before I could get in a taxi...)
It cost a fortune out of me for the taxi ride...
The driver was kind enough to fetch me back as it was a bad traffic jam during that time and also giving a little discount for the ride too...
He was so DAMN kind... 

Well, was waiting for the manager to pick me up with the wheel chair...
I did called to the man that I married to before calling my mum...
I called him to come immediately to fetch me and I will wait for him...
He said that he is at work and could not go for the moment and it was so jam...
And then I said called his brother of father to come fetch me to the doctor...
All he said was : "I think they were working at this time too, they can't fetch you back." ...
I was pissed and hang up...
(To those who had married, going to married or planning on getting married, this was not the right thing to treat someone had suffer a lot of pain while delivering a child that carries the name of your ancestors!!!)
Then, I had no choice but to called my mum and get help from her...
You see...
MUM IS THE BEST THING YOU EVER HAD!!!
Whatever shits that comes to your life...
She is and will be the one you look for by the end of the day...

Well, it was a matter of life and death as I thought that it would be a bone fracture or something...
Luckily...
It was not...
And until now...
It was swelling and DAMN painful...
That reminds me of last year...
There was once I was fainted while getting to work at the timekeeper...
So I was admitted to the hospital...
He didn't even came to see me...
And the reason was...
My mother called him to go back to work as I was okay for the time being...
The feeling of disappointment never gone away since then...
To all the male readers of my blog...
Please be there on who ever it may be that had called you for help or had been admitted to the hospital...
The first person that he or she would like to see is YOU!!!
(Even know he or she hates you...) 

I am putting an end for now...
It was sad and painful of blogging all the negatives in my life...
Thanks for your time and patience who had read this post...
It was DAMN long I know... 
Have an awesome day...=)

P/S : Please do not ever thought of not getting married if you are a follower of my blog and read about my marriage life. I don't have a fairy-tale marriage doesn't mean that your future marriage is not a fairy-tale too. It will break my heart if you don't try.

NEW LIFE = NIGHTMARE (Part Fourteen)

OMG!!!
Say already don't wish to post this ever again...
But...
Still I have no choice...

Just now around 5:30pm...
I received a call from my hubby...
He say his father asked us want to go his uncle's house party or not...
Then I said okay lor...
Since I am not cooking and the original plan of going to eat steamboat with his friends were canceled...
Then he said that his father will go my house and pick my baby and go first...
So I si beh beh song lor...
I asked why every time also want to bring him go first?
Why can't we go as a family?
As only me, my hubby and my baby...
He then replied me that his father want to bring him go and play first...
Then I said don't have to do that...
We will go ourselves...
Then we hang up...

After hanging up the phone I was thinking...
Why their family like to suddenly asked people out?
Why can't their family let us know earlier so that we could plan our own things?
So I called my hubby again and asked...
Then I said I don't want to go already...
Since I am planning to go grocery shopping with my hubby and my baby at Tesco...
Then he said that he wanted to go to steamboat also...
I asked him not say canceled already de meh?
He replied that they decided to have a farewell party for one of his friend...
Then I asked how and which one he want to attend?
He told me that he wanted to go both...
Means after he finish work straight away go to his uncle's party and then go to his friend steamboat party again...
Then I said what about his spectacles?
(He dropped it on the floor and it was broken)
I told him to choose one event and can't be so greedy...
I told him that your uncle's party held on every year...
But your friend's farewell party wasn't...
I advised him to go to the farewell party because on the other hand I rather go to the farewell party to be myself rather then smiling all the night and don't know what on earth are his relatives talking about as I don't know how to talk or listen to Teochew...
So he take the advise and called his father...

Few minutes later...
He SMS me that his father is going to called me later...
Then I called him to asked what is going on...
He told me that his father said we promised them that we will go during CNY...
Then I said I don't remember and don't recall any of this at all...
Then he said that they promised his aunt to bring baby attend the party...
I was like WTH!!!
He is my baby and I am his mother...
When I needed his parents to help me on taking care of baby King while am still studying and what negative stories and bull shits they gave me...
Now baby is getting bigger and more easy to take care of...
I feel like they were trying to take him away from me and the reason they want their son to marry me is also because of the baby!!!
So DAMN angry and posted this on the FACEBOOK where I had approved the Chuah's that had added me again since I had deleted them...

Now...
Seriously have no idea what is happening...
F**K~~~ ><''

NEW CHAPTER IN LIFE (Part One)

Well...
It had been a month since I had moved out with my hubby and my baby King...
I have too say so far so good la...
UniFi's technician had came finally...
Means that I can update my blog if I have the time...
But...
Need to start to pay the bills already...
Haiz...

Let me introduce my new house to you...
Had 3 bedrooms and a bathroom...
It is not a very big house but it is enough for the 3 of us...

Oh ya...
Besides the 3 of us...
There is one person that wanted to treat herself as a stranger and stay at my house for the time being...
So one of the rooms had been rented out to her...
Which makes me sometimes quite mad about her...
Initially I thought of helping her to save money for not renting a room for her but letting her to sleep a bed with a bed frame...
Then she said she feels like depending on others...
And sat there cried...
WTF!!!

No matter you are staying with who and where...
You are still depending on others to rent a room for you...
The difference is that whether the owner is living with you or not...
She say she rather pay me for a room...
And that is what she wants...
I'll give her what she wants then...
Means that our relationship now is that house owner and tenants...
That's all...
Really damn mad at her...

Recently had quarrel with her as I bought a very good friend up to stay for the night at my house...
And she said I didn't introduce to her...
Then...
I answered that she is my friend...
She said friend also have name...
Then I forgot what I had said...
Then the next thing I knew it she slammed the door...
I was so mad I said I was kind enough to shelter to let her live here, I do not need to see her facial expression...

The reason I let her stay her with me is that she rang me in the middle of the night telling me that her housemates are all moving out and she don't know what to do due to the college will be moving to somewhere near station CSL and etc...
Well...
I gave her a solution and she took it...

Now...
Giving all the headaches stuff...
First, I introduce a tour guide job to her since the pay is much higher than working as a waitress in a restaurant...
And when things aren't going well as I shared my experience of leading a tour to her...
I didn't face anything big also...
And when she faced it she find me and like raising her voice up and it was like it is all my fault...
As I know she called others to look for advices and solutions...
Advices we gave, solutions we gave...
Decisions it's all hers...
Still giving us the black face look again...
Seriously beh tahan her...
I SWEAR I WON'T INTRODUCE ANOTHER JOB TO HER AGAIN NO MATTER HOW HIGH IS THE PAY...

Then...
Bringing friends over without letting me know earlier...
Okay...
Fine...
All of them I knew also...
So I didn't say anything la...
What time come back or going where else also didn't say...
I know it is not my business on knowing whatever you are doing...
But still you are living in my house and it is my responsibility if anything happens to you...
ISH...

If you really read this...
I just want to tell you that...
Not everyone can treat you as well as I did...
I wanted to treat you as a family and you don't want...
It's fine with me...
Please change your temper before my limits of breaks off and everything gets ugly...
Not everything can be as you want and as you like...
With your temper you have gone through a lot and you know and won't want it to happen again...
The only solution is changing it no matter you like it or not...
Please think about it and one more thing...
Don't call and gets panic when things gets wrong...
And when you do called and ask for an advice or solution...
Take it or leave it, don't cry over it...

That's all for now...
It's time to cook dinner...
Bye... =)

Back...

I saw the last time I blogged...
It was 26th of July 2011...

Today is 13th of January 2012...
OMG!!!
DAMN LOOOOOOOONG I never update my blog... ><

Okay...
As usual I have STML...
So will just update what had happened recently...

FINALLY!!!
I had moved out to my NEW house...
It is very near to my mum's home as well as the LRT... =)
Really thanks to my mum for the house and everything...

Today is the forth day of my so called "BRAND NEW LIFE"... =D
This story of my BRAND NEW LIFE will be told on a BRAND NEW CHAPTER...
I hope that the title of "NEW LIFE = NIGHTMARE" won't appear again in my blog...
Do STAYED TUNED!!! XD

Next...
My college life...
Am going to IT which is Industry Training soon...
Around March I think...
Anyway...
Decided to stay in KL for the 6 months of training rather than going to PD...
Because I really very worry of my Baby King...
Will be separated with my friends for 6 months...
Feel lonely sometimes when thinking of it...
Haiz...
(Will continue this later...)

Last...
My DARLING...
Baby King...=D
Is in the pink of health...
A very bad temper same as his mother...
Haha...
Teething though...
Eats whatever you eats and whenever you eats...
Leaning how to talk also...
He was like an ECHO... X)

That's all for now...
Will update when free or maybe at least the UniFi had installed... =)

P/S : May not be going back to Penang due to financial problem...
Will try to have discussion with hubby tonight...

NEW LIFE = NIGHTMARE (Part Thirteen)

OMG!!!
The title of my NEW LIFE = NIGHTMARE gets longer and longer...
By the time and if I can survive, not to divorce until it reach to 100...
I shall make publish it as a journal of my life...
LOL!!!

Well...
I don't remember what and where I had stopped even know I read the previous post...
Totally don't have any memories of it...
(or am I too lazy to refresh my brain)
Anyway...
Will update what is going on lately...

Oh Gosh!!!
Everything was so DAMN pack in my schedule recently...
Feel like a chain traffic accident occur...
Everything that is important to me CLASH all in a period of time...

Firstly...
My baby king of course...
He is teething again...
Need EXTRA attention on him...
Because during the period he will have fever and grab whatever thing and put inside his mouth...
And boy he is seriously very playful and naughty...
Can't say him naughty yet...
Can categorize him as he has a big curiosity...
Plus...
I am very very scare that he had Autism...
Because there is no one else free to play with him at my home...
(nowadays I am staying at my house)

Secondly...
My college things...
Our lecturer had gave us a presentation to do again...
As for my status now...
I am seriously feel very sorry to my group member as I feel like I don't contribute enough of the work on the presentation...
Well...
I really didn't do anything at all...
Besides on reading all the bunch of PDF files...
Not finding a clue of thing...
ISH!!! ><
Really DAMN mad at myself sometimes...

Thirdly...
Lun is having his depressing again...
I don't know this time what the hell is happening...
I asked him...
All he answered was...
NOTHING...
DON'T KNOW...
Well...
I have been having my period lately and my temper was not really that good...
Okay...
It was WORST than the real me...
Everything seems to PISSED me off since I had gave birth to baby king...
As I think and think and think of this issue whenever I walk, stand, taking trains or buses back home...
The result of it was...
I am not suitable for taking care or living with a person with sickness...
As myself is not a positive thinker and try not to be...
Because the result of it is DISAPPOINTMENT...
I can't bear with the feelings of feeling so and you have to stay strong and can't cry over the spill milk...
In the end...
I will keep it deep down and hide it until ONE DAY it BURST...

And because of Lun's depression...
There is another issue coming up again...
Well...
His parents of course need to find out what was going on...
So...
They call us for another lecturer session again...
And as usual a bunch of CRAPS talking...
And this time...
Through out the whole lecturing...
I looked at him all the time...
And didn't say a word about any of it...
Because I know if I let everything out without any evidence...
In the end is a waste of time, waste of energy and a waste of tears...

Both of his parents say that...
Don't look so far ahead...
Peacefully go through everyday of our life and there is enough...
OMG!!!
You want me to peacefully go through my life...
It means that MY LIFE = FLAT!!!
Oh shit!!!
Sorry to say that...
I am a risk taker...
I like adventurous stuff...
And the most important thing is I would like to do everything on my own if I have the time to learn it and understand it...
Besides this...
They did mention about moving away...
They say can slow slow find...
WTF!!!
I think that I bring him away from this house he's condition will be better...
The decision has been made...
I will still move out no matter he wanted to come along with me or not...
MARKED MY WORDS!!!

I know I am very stubborn...
So what...
This is me...

I only have few words to said to his parents :
清官难审家庭事，这是我们一家三口的事，我希望用我们自己的方法去解决！
你的儿子在你们的心目中永远都是一个好孩子，可是如果你们有机会读我的部落格（事实的全部），你们就不会这样想了！
你们不可以一直想要怎样保护自己的孩儿，应该放手让他们自己去闯，他们跌倒后，才会知道痛的滋味，这样他们才会把所经历的事情铭记于心！
不要说我说你们的不是，这其实是一个事实，伦会搞到这样的地步，是因为你们做父母的小小就把他关在家里，才会搞到他这样！

P/S: Oh God, if you really can hear me...
Please make him stop mumbling when he is sleeping...
I need some rest too...
I have still a part time training job have not done yet... ><''

放手...

什么是放手？

你不爱一个人了，
这不叫放手，
这叫放弃；
你移情别恋了，
这不叫放手，
最多只是转身就走。

相反，
爱一个人，
但发现（无论如何还是）相处不来，
唯有分开，这才叫做放手。

又或，
爱一个人，
但明白对方已经不爱自己了，
唯有忍痛退出，
也叫做放手。

《摘自某报纸的谋篇文章》

NEW LIFE = NIGHTMARE (Part Twelve)

I am seriously jumping with joy today because final exam results is OUT!!!
I got A- in my Front Office Procedure and Financial Accounting...
**CLAPS**

But thanks to Mr Chuah...
Thank you for ruin my day...

He suddenly message me that...

既然你没情，我何必对你有意，你不爱我孩子就归我，这早就说好的！
Through this, all I can say and think of is he married with me is because of the baby boy...
Plus, I didn't make any agreement on that statement...
你别说什么悔过书什么的！
Call you to write this regret letter is for you to think what have you done and is it right or wrong...
Plus a promise to me and baby king that you will not repeat the same mistake again...
你家经济能力不好还要供你姐妹读书，我看早已负债连连！
Well, this is my family problem...
You can't help any of that too...
在加上你们没有能力与时间顾孩子的环境下！
Like you have...
You everyday also got work...
Come back bath, eat dinner, play hand phone and watch television then sleep...
You where got time to play with your son?
All you do is throw baby to your mother to take care...
This kind of solution I won't so stupid to go and accept again...
Because the last last lecture from your father...
Told me that your mother would sit at home and think many many things such as why is she need to take care of baby king at home and I go out to work...
If like that her mother say she go out to work and I stay home to take care of baby...
**This kind of words make me think that you don't want me to study and work, you guys want me to stay at home to take care of baby...
Oh please, if you guys don't like me studying and working, then don't promise my mother in the first place to let me to finish my studies...
Sending him to the baby sitter is the best solution...
Baby sitter love him very much and all of their children treat baby king like their own brother...
Taught him to play, eat and talk...
你说法官会判孩子给你还是我！
I won't do things that I don't have confidence...
Even if I don't have any, I will still go on no matter what until I get what I want...
还有我和他的血缘才是正统的！
WHF does this mean?
... ... ...

共同抚养有很多方法，他还是姓蔡，就算你是他妈妈也没有权利独占他，除非你把我杀了，走你妈的后路或许有一丁点的希望可以让孩子转姓韦，这个月你就在你家，我在我家，你好好想想！
I didn't say anything about helping baby king to change his sir name...
He is still a member of the Chuah clan...
I didn't say that I want to owned baby king, you all can still visit him and play with him...
I also would like to stay at my mum's house, but my things are over there...
How am I going to go to college if my things are all over your house...
Stupid!!!
我不是逼你，只是想让你知道你所向往的自由会让你的未来付出残痛的代价！
All I know now is...
Leaving the you, I would be more happier, less worries and less stress...

**Redness = My thinking

WTF!!!
Seriously I don't know what and how to talk to him...
You guys be the judges this time...
Tell me what I should do?
Besides continue to 忍 him!
Totally no mood jor lor...
WTH!!!