Part Fifteen : Annoying People Annoying Messages!!!

我强调， 我不喜欢被威胁！
律师已经请了，你自己跟我律师谈！跟你这种反反复复的烂人讲话，简直是在浪费我的时间，浪费我的口水！
拖多少年都好，只要能摆脱你这个烂人照算要我倾家荡产我也愿意！你每次都说要请律师跟我抢回儿子，可是到现在你却没有！你说的话我还去相信的话，我真的比猪还笨！既然没有请律师，老婆和孩子又不用你养，那天我律师代表我跟你要求拿孩子的月费时，怎么说给不了？钱花去哪个狐狸精身上了？（这事儿绝对不是瞎讲我有照片为证！还要自己PO在自己的面子书上给人家看！）还要跟我商量每个月只给两百！两百！够孩子上课，吃，喝，穿吗？之后，不到24小时，竟然打电话跟我律师说连两百都给不起了！连我律师都翻白眼！之后我们才决定你这个精子捐赠者不给孩子的生活费就不让你看孩子！
多谢你，我现在每晚都得做两份兼职，你觉得我还有那个美国时间跟你见面，浪费我的时间跟你谈那些有的没的吗？

我告诉你，威胁我没有用！最多一拍两散而已！

我就是特地在面子书上说，因为你父母，你家人，你亲戚原来都会注意我PO的东西！让每一个人知道你是一个怎样的烂人！你不在乎那你又去看？（翻白眼中）而且我说的都是事实！
我很清楚我自己做了什么，想要的是什么！我会为了我想要的人，事，物上尽力的付出一切！我问心无愧！对得起我自己！

而你做过什么你自己很清楚，（1）准备要嫁给你时，你就告诉我说你这辈子最爱最疼的是你妈妈，而不是说你会爱我一辈子，那一瞬间，我的心已经受伤了，既然如此，我就如你所愿，下半辈子你就跟你妈妈度过吧！不是说把我肚子搞大了， 娶了我过门，就可以收工了。这不叫责任！（你自己也承认你是有这样的想法，给我一点时间找出此信息为证！）我不是一个帮你生孩子的工具！（2）我十月怀胎，每天塔巴士去上课，你也不会说早点起来载我去学院一下，之后肚子越来越大，我就拜托我的同学每天载我上课下课，你还是那个死样没有改进！你妈妈还跟我说了一句，如果有男生来家里载我就要跟他们说，免得外面的人闲言闲语。到头来，你们家就是爱面子。嘴巴生在别人那儿，人家爱说什么是他们的事，活了那么久，这点不用我教。我问心无愧！直到我生了以后，回到家开始做月子的日子，你们的专注力都只放在孩子，孙子，侄子的身上，那我呢？永远都不会想下我生完后有多虚弱，也需要你们的关心。（3）做月子期间，竟然给我抓到你跟别的美眉电爱，还不只一个！你永远都无法明白我当时的心是那么的痛！想哭却没泪！把电话往你身上丢的那一刻，我的心已经死了！我家人知道后，我姐姐只说了一句，精神上出轨也算是出轨！（4）一个正常人，好好的不会有两个面子书户口，（虽然我知道某些人为了玩面子书的游戏，朋友不够就开多几个来玩游戏！）可是你开的另一个户口，竟然里面全是三级的东西，全都是说性爱的，还同时跟几个美眉信息电爱，交换手机号码！发现的那一刻，也跟你吵了架，因为还在乎，所以还是想要你回头！很可惜，历史一直不停的在重演！感谢你让我看清楚，也明白这世界上根本就没有一个好男人！

对！家务是你做的，那又如何？之前在你妈妈家住时，都是你妈妈在做！这是你搬过来一家三口一起生活的时候，我逼你做的！我生出来不是为了要服侍你这个烂人！要不然，所有东西都是我做完，你放假就在家里看戏，玩电话，打游戏机，看三级片打飞机，上网认识美眉，跟人家电爱那么享受？不要以为做那几件家务事就觉得自己很了不起，养不起老婆和孩子的烂人一样也是被人家（尤其是我）看不起！要你做家务，是要你学会独立，学会分担责任！要你帮忙做家务，帮忙照顾孩子，是因为家你也有份住（没给房租还要懒懒散散的厚着脸皮在那儿白住白用！）孩子你也有份，怎么说都是跟你姓，不要以为做爱做到那么爽，什么责任就不必出！你从前就不长进，没有上进心，每天上班都迟到，你选择拿着千二块的薪水就这样过活，你到底有没有想过老婆和孩子接下来的生活？你连给家用都给不起，每个月还要回家跟爸爸妈妈讨钱，早午晚三餐确是家里包完！都不知道钱跑了去哪里！要你帮忙照顾孩子是因为我生完后，几乎每天下课之后，都得去做兼职做到三更半夜来维持自己的生活，（由于做到半夜12点，没有巴士可以搭回家，所以叫自己的老公载，他竟然有几次是要我苦苦哀求他来载我回家，因为我不想麻烦我家人，真TMD却跟我拿油费！）而你却只做一份千二块的工来维持你自己的生活！孩子出生到现在，他大多数的一切都是我妈妈，你岳母，孩子的外婆买的，给的。而每次要跟你讨钱买孩子的奶粉，你都说用完了，没钱了，还反过来跟我要钱！好！钱你不要赚，那我去赚，你这个烂人当然是在家里做家务，照顾孩子啊！我如果有的选择，难道我不希望在家里看孩子长大吗？没用的烂人！嫁了给你三年，（2014年4月分居）都没有给过我零用钱，也就算了，连每次跟你拿孩子的费用时，你都牙痛！

是的！没错！我是把孩子给我妈妈照顾，那是因为我认同她教孩子的方法，其次，她是我这一生最值得我依赖，信赖的人！而且我得上课，得考试，得做工，我是普通人，不是超人，一天就只有那24小时，我也需要帮助，我很庆幸有家人的支持，很辛苦的挨过了两年，也终于毕业了！（感恩！）而你时常把还孩子带回去你家，除了回家吃免费晚餐之外，是因为你要玩手机，要看戏，同样的把孩子丢给你妈妈看顾！你们全家所谓的看顾，就是有一次，眼睛，灵魂都跑进电视机里去了，孩子却连人带脚车这样滚下了楼梯！（他们是住店屋的）那天还好意思眼睁睁的说谎！（我家翁）

你爱我？你知道什么是爱吗？我们之间真的有爱吗？怎么我感受不到？怎么我看不出来你所做的一切是因为爱我？爱我就不要伤害我，就要为了我替我说话。我当然爱我家人，我父亲在我11岁的时候，两脚一伸就这样把我们三姐妹丢下，家里少了一个支柱，这些年都是我妈妈，母兼父职，兼职几份，省吃省用，每天做到三更半夜，埃坏身子，手术动了几次，辛辛苦苦的把我们三姐妹养大！她们每一个都在我最需要帮助的时候伸出援手！包括当你把我弄哭时，都是她们再我身边陪伴我，安慰我！我不像你家境那么好却生在福中不知福！

对！我可以大大声的告诉你们，律师费的确半毛钱我都没有出过，都是全靠我家人帮我出的！因为多谢你这个烂人，我逼不得以买车就为了要接送我的宝贝上课下课，去保姆家，（用了他的烂车几天而已，却说我把他的烂车弄坏！）我还得付孩子的保姆费，学费，打油，修车费，（前阵子应该是疲劳过度驾车时睡着了，把车给撞烂了！）还为了让自己活下来，每天没胃口都逼自己吃，（最近市道很差，兼职那儿也没工开，也只好回家做小老鼠了！）还有等等费用。虽然很穷的说，可是离开你以后，我每天都活到很充实，很好！就是不明白你为什么要死死咬着我不放！这会令我更想要离开你！
（顺便多口一句的说，所有的钱都不属于你我他，所有的钱上印了BANK NEGARA MALAYSIA，其实它是属于银行的！）

其实你签不签不重要，那只是一张纸说我跟你这个烂人已经没有任何关系而已，我又不是等着嫁人，此时此刻，对我来说，已经无所谓了！你不要以为可以拿着这样的一张纸来绑住我，很抱歉的说，我不属于任何人！

其实我想说，一切都太迟了！机会给了无数次，还是一样的死样，说也说了，讲又讲过了，乖过那几天，一样打回原型，正所谓江山易改，本性难移！你之前所答应的，当时没做到的，而现在有没有做到当时候许下的承诺，对我来说已经没有意义了！

要等到我离开才来成长，未免太迟了吧？有些东西错过了就是错过了，已经没有办法回头了！有的时候，不会珍惜，等到没有了，才想到要珍惜！无可否认，只要有人肯栽培你的音乐天分，在音乐这行业里，你是可以有很大的发展空间，当时候很穷的时候，说了要你去海螺把自己的歌卖给他们，赚点钱，你却懒懒散散，拖拖拉拉的，到最后还是没有办到！我告诉你，没有你我们都过得很好！请你不要再精神的骚扰我们了！很坦白的说，你买的东西，我真的越看越讨厌，一生气就把东西送给别人了！如果要真正的谢谢我，就请你离开我和孩子的生活！不要再来烦我们打扰我们了！现在摆脱你是我真正想要的！

我想来想去，想不明白，用一个手机号码来信息我就好了，为什么要用两个？这是011的电话号码（新买的）来信息我的~~~ (应该是精神病发作！）

还是那句，我倾家荡产都要得到孩子的抚养全！没有了孩子，我也不想活了！你不会明白，我十月怀胎（虽然他不足月就出生）跟他一起搭巴士，一起上课，一起考试，一起哭，一起笑，一起玩耍，（就是会很坏蛋的用力踢我肚子）等等。没有了这个小瓜，我真的不知道活着还有什么意义了。他此时此刻就是让我生存在这世界上的推动力，他连我有自虐的习惯也一一的改善了，他是我的天使（同时也是恶魔，毕竟他是男生，很调皮的说），为了他我什么都可以不要！以前会为了自己所要的人，事，物而去奋斗，现在只为了要给孩子他所要的人，事，物而奋斗！

其实没什么好谈的，赡养费你要不要给我，我也无所谓，（他该不会是想要跟我拿赡养费吧？）我从来就没有跟你要过！这些年有你没你，都没差，没有你我过的比从前更好！少了一个人经常精神上骚扰我！孩子的生活费既然你都说了连两百块一个月都付不起，我不会再让你看孩子了！所以连探望孩子的时间都无需跟你谈了！我要的是你离开我们的生活！最好是完全消失！

NEW LIFE = NIGHTMARE (Part Fourteen)

OMG!!!
Say already don't wish to post this ever again...
But...
Still I have no choice...

Just now around 5:30pm...
I received a call from my hubby...
He say his father asked us want to go his uncle's house party or not...
Then I said okay lor...
Since I am not cooking and the original plan of going to eat steamboat with his friends were canceled...
Then he said that his father will go my house and pick my baby and go first...
So I si beh beh song lor...
I asked why every time also want to bring him go first?
Why can't we go as a family?
As only me, my hubby and my baby...
He then replied me that his father want to bring him go and play first...
Then I said don't have to do that...
We will go ourselves...
Then we hang up...

After hanging up the phone I was thinking...
Why their family like to suddenly asked people out?
Why can't their family let us know earlier so that we could plan our own things?
So I called my hubby again and asked...
Then I said I don't want to go already...
Since I am planning to go grocery shopping with my hubby and my baby at Tesco...
Then he said that he wanted to go to steamboat also...
I asked him not say canceled already de meh?
He replied that they decided to have a farewell party for one of his friend...
Then I asked how and which one he want to attend?
He told me that he wanted to go both...
Means after he finish work straight away go to his uncle's party and then go to his friend steamboat party again...
Then I said what about his spectacles?
(He dropped it on the floor and it was broken)
I told him to choose one event and can't be so greedy...
I told him that your uncle's party held on every year...
But your friend's farewell party wasn't...
I advised him to go to the farewell party because on the other hand I rather go to the farewell party to be myself rather then smiling all the night and don't know what on earth are his relatives talking about as I don't know how to talk or listen to Teochew...
So he take the advise and called his father...

Few minutes later...
He SMS me that his father is going to called me later...
Then I called him to asked what is going on...
He told me that his father said we promised them that we will go during CNY...
Then I said I don't remember and don't recall any of this at all...
Then he said that they promised his aunt to bring baby attend the party...
I was like WTH!!!
He is my baby and I am his mother...
When I needed his parents to help me on taking care of baby King while am still studying and what negative stories and bull shits they gave me...
Now baby is getting bigger and more easy to take care of...
I feel like they were trying to take him away from me and the reason they want their son to marry me is also because of the baby!!!
So DAMN angry and posted this on the FACEBOOK where I had approved the Chuah's that had added me again since I had deleted them...

Now...
Seriously have no idea what is happening...
F**K~~~ ><''

NEW LIFE = NIGHTMARE (Part Thirteen)

OMG!!!
The title of my NEW LIFE = NIGHTMARE gets longer and longer...
By the time and if I can survive, not to divorce until it reach to 100...
I shall make publish it as a journal of my life...
LOL!!!

Well...
I don't remember what and where I had stopped even know I read the previous post...
Totally don't have any memories of it...
(or am I too lazy to refresh my brain)
Anyway...
Will update what is going on lately...

Oh Gosh!!!
Everything was so DAMN pack in my schedule recently...
Feel like a chain traffic accident occur...
Everything that is important to me CLASH all in a period of time...

Firstly...
My baby king of course...
He is teething again...
Need EXTRA attention on him...
Because during the period he will have fever and grab whatever thing and put inside his mouth...
And boy he is seriously very playful and naughty...
Can't say him naughty yet...
Can categorize him as he has a big curiosity...
Plus...
I am very very scare that he had Autism...
Because there is no one else free to play with him at my home...
(nowadays I am staying at my house)

Secondly...
My college things...
Our lecturer had gave us a presentation to do again...
As for my status now...
I am seriously feel very sorry to my group member as I feel like I don't contribute enough of the work on the presentation...
Well...
I really didn't do anything at all...
Besides on reading all the bunch of PDF files...
Not finding a clue of thing...
ISH!!! ><
Really DAMN mad at myself sometimes...

Thirdly...
Lun is having his depressing again...
I don't know this time what the hell is happening...
I asked him...
All he answered was...
NOTHING...
DON'T KNOW...
Well...
I have been having my period lately and my temper was not really that good...
Okay...
It was WORST than the real me...
Everything seems to PISSED me off since I had gave birth to baby king...
As I think and think and think of this issue whenever I walk, stand, taking trains or buses back home...
The result of it was...
I am not suitable for taking care or living with a person with sickness...
As myself is not a positive thinker and try not to be...
Because the result of it is DISAPPOINTMENT...
I can't bear with the feelings of feeling so and you have to stay strong and can't cry over the spill milk...
In the end...
I will keep it deep down and hide it until ONE DAY it BURST...

And because of Lun's depression...
There is another issue coming up again...
Well...
His parents of course need to find out what was going on...
So...
They call us for another lecturer session again...
And as usual a bunch of CRAPS talking...
And this time...
Through out the whole lecturing...
I looked at him all the time...
And didn't say a word about any of it...
Because I know if I let everything out without any evidence...
In the end is a waste of time, waste of energy and a waste of tears...

Both of his parents say that...
Don't look so far ahead...
Peacefully go through everyday of our life and there is enough...
OMG!!!
You want me to peacefully go through my life...
It means that MY LIFE = FLAT!!!
Oh shit!!!
Sorry to say that...
I am a risk taker...
I like adventurous stuff...
And the most important thing is I would like to do everything on my own if I have the time to learn it and understand it...
Besides this...
They did mention about moving away...
They say can slow slow find...
WTF!!!
I think that I bring him away from this house he's condition will be better...
The decision has been made...
I will still move out no matter he wanted to come along with me or not...
MARKED MY WORDS!!!

I know I am very stubborn...
So what...
This is me...

I only have few words to said to his parents :
清官难审家庭事，这是我们一家三口的事，我希望用我们自己的方法去解决！
你的儿子在你们的心目中永远都是一个好孩子，可是如果你们有机会读我的部落格（事实的全部），你们就不会这样想了！
你们不可以一直想要怎样保护自己的孩儿，应该放手让他们自己去闯，他们跌倒后，才会知道痛的滋味，这样他们才会把所经历的事情铭记于心！
不要说我说你们的不是，这其实是一个事实，伦会搞到这样的地步，是因为你们做父母的小小就把他关在家里，才会搞到他这样！

P/S: Oh God, if you really can hear me...
Please make him stop mumbling when he is sleeping...
I need some rest too...
I have still a part time training job have not done yet... ><''

NEW LIFE = NIGHTMARE (Part Twelve)

I am seriously jumping with joy today because final exam results is OUT!!!
I got A- in my Front Office Procedure and Financial Accounting...
**CLAPS**

But thanks to Mr Chuah...
Thank you for ruin my day...

He suddenly message me that...

既然你没情，我何必对你有意，你不爱我孩子就归我，这早就说好的！
Through this, all I can say and think of is he married with me is because of the baby boy...
Plus, I didn't make any agreement on that statement...
你别说什么悔过书什么的！
Call you to write this regret letter is for you to think what have you done and is it right or wrong...
Plus a promise to me and baby king that you will not repeat the same mistake again...
你家经济能力不好还要供你姐妹读书，我看早已负债连连！
Well, this is my family problem...
You can't help any of that too...
在加上你们没有能力与时间顾孩子的环境下！
Like you have...
You everyday also got work...
Come back bath, eat dinner, play hand phone and watch television then sleep...
You where got time to play with your son?
All you do is throw baby to your mother to take care...
This kind of solution I won't so stupid to go and accept again...
Because the last last lecture from your father...
Told me that your mother would sit at home and think many many things such as why is she need to take care of baby king at home and I go out to work...
If like that her mother say she go out to work and I stay home to take care of baby...
**This kind of words make me think that you don't want me to study and work, you guys want me to stay at home to take care of baby...
Oh please, if you guys don't like me studying and working, then don't promise my mother in the first place to let me to finish my studies...
Sending him to the baby sitter is the best solution...
Baby sitter love him very much and all of their children treat baby king like their own brother...
Taught him to play, eat and talk...
你说法官会判孩子给你还是我！
I won't do things that I don't have confidence...
Even if I don't have any, I will still go on no matter what until I get what I want...
还有我和他的血缘才是正统的！
WHF does this mean?
... ... ...

共同抚养有很多方法，他还是姓蔡，就算你是他妈妈也没有权利独占他，除非你把我杀了，走你妈的后路或许有一丁点的希望可以让孩子转姓韦，这个月你就在你家，我在我家，你好好想想！
I didn't say anything about helping baby king to change his sir name...
He is still a member of the Chuah clan...
I didn't say that I want to owned baby king, you all can still visit him and play with him...
I also would like to stay at my mum's house, but my things are over there...
How am I going to go to college if my things are all over your house...
Stupid!!!
我不是逼你，只是想让你知道你所向往的自由会让你的未来付出残痛的代价！
All I know now is...
Leaving the you, I would be more happier, less worries and less stress...

**Redness = My thinking

WTF!!!
Seriously I don't know what and how to talk to him...
You guys be the judges this time...
Tell me what I should do?
Besides continue to 忍 him!
Totally no mood jor lor...
WTH!!!

NEW LIFE = NIGHTMARE (Part Eleven)

Gosh...
Finally got the time to write this...
As I was saying...
My son's father had his depression...
And this time last about a week...
He is now closely to a normal him already...
But still...
Pissed me off even more than I can stand...
All I can say is...
MEMANG BEH TAHAN!!!

About his depression...
I have no comments on it because it is beyond my control...
Even the 伍公佛祖 also have no comments about it...
But...
Last night I have something to comment about...
F*** YOU!!!

Baby King is crying out loud and I don't know what is happening...
And all he do is that lying on the bed and shut his eyes...
Can't you just console your son even know that he don't want you to hug him?
Everything also I have to do...
Luckily last night his sister have not went to bed yet...
So she did helped me a lot on making the medicine to console my Baby King...
Appreciated... =)

Then...
His father...
I know I'm not suppose to comment about his life plus it is not my house...
But...
What the hell is wrong with him?
Watch TV until late night is not a sin...
But turning the volume UP until in my room also can hear what the characters in the movie are talking...
Hello...
I have class the next morning...
I am lacking of sleep because your son don't want to help out...
And your grandson was not in a very comfortable condition...

Ya...
My dear Baby King...
Sick again...
The close friend of his came to visit him once more...
Haiz...

Seriously...
Am repeatedly asking myself why?
Why do I have to face this?
All of this?

Quarrel with my mum because I need always went to work and leave Baby King to her...
Quarrel with my mum because I overslept and not attending class due to work late the previous night...
Quarrel with my mum because I don't know...
That's how we communicate?
LOL!!!

P/S : I begged you to let me leave you whenever I wanted to...
Because I just want a way out from you and your family...
It's stressing me out...
I am so sorry to say that I don't like to follow the Rules and Regulations of your family...
Even know that you told me that no one in your family is going to like me after all the things I did...
I DO WHAT I LIKE!!!

NEW LIFE = NIGHTMARE (Part Ten)

Ya...
I admit that I was wrong checking his messages...
But...
When a woman got a feeling of doing so...
That's mean there is something not right...

I checked his phone just now...
And guess what shocking things I found out...
He had phone sex with another girl named 欣怡...
WTH...

Ya...
I know that we are going to divorce sooner or later...
But...
Not now...
We are still husband and wife...
Phone sex?
No wonder he was in the toilet for so damn long yesterday night...

My feeling now are complicated...
On one side I feel a little sadness...
And on the other I think I can sue him for doing that...
And maybe get some 赡养费 from him after we divorce...
And maybe I'll have Baby King's custody...
And...
Back to reality...

Of course...
I was dumb enough not to send all the messages over to my phone the moment I saw those messages...
It was truly shocking for me...
And now...
He deleted all the evidence even the contact number of the girl...
WTF!!!

Let's pray that he do it again and I won't be so dumb for the next time...
**Fingers cross...**

P/S : I won't cry...I won't cry...I won't cry...I won't cry...I won't cry...I won't cry...I won't cry...I won't cry...I won't cry...I won't cry...
Good luck on my final tomorrow... =(

NEW LIFE = NIGHTMARE (Part Nine)

BEH TAHAN!!!
MEMANG BEH TAHAN ALREADY!!!
ISH!!!

What the hell...
Your parents as usual went back to Penang without saying a word or giving any hint...
Yet still say me don't have moral?
BULLSHIT!!!

That action of yours makes me feel more and think more that I'm not one of the family...
Seriously...
I don't feel I am anymore...
So don't blame me if I was planning to leave...

Today was the day where we celebrate 端午节...
Mum knew that nobody is going to cook for the two of you and she asked to join us for dinner...
You promised to come a couple of days ago...
And look what you did to pissed my family...
First...
You should have give me a SMS say that you are still working after your afternoon shift ends which is on 9.30pm...
Or if you couldn't call my phone at least try to call my mum, my sister or my house phone and inform...
All of this...
Common sense and it is a basic courtesy that a person should have...
Guess what...
Your parents have mouth to say me but they didn't taught their children to do so...
WTF!!!

Second of all...
Because of you telling me that you are bringing your brother here to eat...
Mum cooked a lot of rice and a lot of dishes just for the both of you...
And look what you did?
My sister can't eat the curry fish just mum want to save it for you...
And when it is almost about 12am...
My mum asked my sister and she don't want to have it anymore because it is very late already...
And there goes the curry fish!!!

Third...
Because of you always so late come to pick me and baby King up...
Mum set a rule on not allowing anybody in and out after 12am...
And what you did these few days didn't impress my family or me at all...
You just make the things even worst...
Just the night before yesterday...
I told you that I wanted to go home early so that I can wash my hair, have a bath, do some revision and some data entry...
I even had an agreement with mum to take care of baby King for the night so that I can have the time to help you guys to fold that mountain of clothes which your mother left before leaving...
But you...
You are too late when you came here...
Seriously I don't know what you all are doing during that time...
Mum had locked all the gates...
And chased all of us to sleep...
Even so...
I still am laying on the bed and waited for at least a SMS or a phone from you...
I fell asleep...
The next morning I checked...
I was hoping that there is at least 1 or 2 calls or SMS from you...
But that disappoint me a lot...
Not a single call or message on my phone screen...
WTF!!!

And then...
The previous night...
If you are going to be late...
Can't you please SMS me or give me a call?
What are you doing with the new phone that you got for RM 300 right after you got your salary?
Playing games or communicating with people?
WTF!!!

Every night have to watch TV until late at night...
Then...
Play phone games until the next morning only sleep...
Who the hell do I marry with?
A 21 years old children?
It's not that a sin that you play phone games...
The problem is you don't want to help by keep an eye on baby King while I am working home trying to get extra income in order to make our lives better...
How could you throw all the work to me?
You are the husband or I am the husband?
I am suppose to feed you or you are suppose to feed me?
WTH!!!

Going to have dinner with your brother and cousin at Connaught...
That place where you were going was not cheap at all...
And you asked me whether I want to go or not...
I said no because I wanted to finish the data entry as soon as possible...
I told you buy something for me and guess what you say...
I DON'T HAVE MONEY...
WTF!!!
I am starving to death as my mum didn't cook previous night...
Then...
I just go to the kitchen to have some biscuit and sky juice...
You have money to spend on petrol going to Connaught to eat...
You have money to spend on expensive dinner...
You have money to pamper yourself to buy a new phone...
But when I asked money from you to buy pampers and medicine...
You said : Can I pay you back next week?
You know what?
I WANT A DIVORCE IMMEDIATELY!!!

Seriously...
I don't know why the hell I marry you the first place...
(Of course as you guys know, I just wanted his father's name in the baby's birth certificate...)
Now most of all the things are mostly paid by my mum...
All I know now is...
MUM IS THE BEST!!!
She helps me take care of baby King even know she just had her surgery...
I am so grateful to have her as my mum...

Speaking of the surgery...
I told you that she is having her surgery...
Any yet, as a son-in-law...
Shouldn't you at least asked how is she doing or buy something for her?
You just acted like you don't know!!!
That is how your parents taught you right?

And as I said...
Mum lock the gates after 12am...
Ya...
I know you had come...
You called...
Mum is angry...
She ordered us not to pick up the phone...
She is the boss...
Of course we have to listen to her...
And yet...
You climb into our gate...
You think this is very cool is it?
You could have get caught if there is police petroling around the area...
As what you did...
You scared the hell of me and my family...
You make my mum even more pissed!!!

I am not going back with you and you ask for it!!!

NEW LIFE = NIGHTMARE (Part Eight)

Long time did not update what has been going on...
Now finally have the time to do so...
Here goes another annoying story from me...

Well...
He went to Korea as planned...
It was a company trip...
He was gone for almost a week...
And HOORAY for me...
Because am staying at my house with Baby King...

It was nothing...
Everything was so peaceful...
Except for Baby King was teething...
So for almost the whole week it was suffering because of having fever, flu, cough and so on...
Took him to the doctor and the doctor gave him about 7 kinds of medicine to eat...
Poor him...
But the happy days didn't last long...
When he break the news to me that...
He had spend all his money to buy a very expensive boots in Korea...
All he left was just the babysitter's salary...
I was like WTF...

I know that this is your first time out take flight and out from this country...
But you don't have to spend all of your money and buy things you don't really need...
Plus...
Where got such stupid people will went to Korea and buy Adidas boots?
And because of this...
Make my day even worst...
Taking Baby King to the doctor waste me almost all my allowance...
And was thinking that can claim from him...
But...
ISH!!!

Then...
I was angry for about two days and refuse to go home with him...
and I don't really remember what the hell happened...
We had a big fight...
During the "war"...
The only thing he say that makes me happy is...
He told me to stay there (my house) as long as I want...
Don't come back also never mind...
And my reaction was like...
OH YEAH!!!

Until not long after...
He SMS me and asked me to go home with him...
And I was forced to follow him home...
Because there is something I need to use is in his house...
So I went back with him...

And when i was back...
Guess what happened?
His mother was so DAMN "POLITE"...
She put all Baby King's things that was previously in the basket at the living room in to my cabinet...
It was so messy until I had to clear it up again...
Of course...
I was angry...
DAMN ANGRY!!!

If she put it on my bed I won't be so pissed about it...
At least don't go in to my room when I am not around to find people's things...
It is not right and you know it...
Besides...
I am quite tidy and stubborn about the way I put my things...
Guess what i found out?
My cabinet was all opened by someone...
WTF!!!
Obviously that someone was looking at my stuff...
I hate people touching my things without asking me about it...
And someone important to me too...
Makes me more dislike you because you are the one who lectured me about all the moral stuff and let's see what you have...
Just let me shout out one word to ease my anger...
GO TO HELL!!!

His mother seriously...
Beh tahan!!!
She is the one that promise to help me watch after Baby King in the first place...
So she as my elder I had to listen to her...
This is what he told me when I married him...
And I listen to her about stop on breast feeding Baby King...
And look what happened not long after Baby King didn't had breast milk...
Obviously his immune system its not that good...
And he got lung infection and had to stayed in the hospital for 8 long suffering days...
I am not blaming her...
I am blaming myself because I didn't stand up for myself and for my son too...

Now you are not taking care of Baby King anymore...
To me...
From the point of view I see...
You are the one who don't want to take care of Baby King...
Why are you always have to steal him away from me whenever I was home with Baby King?
Plus...
Again...
Without asking some more...

Please...
Before you lecture people...
You have to think about the whether you have the same problem too...

The other day...
After I went back home...
His sister came in to my room and I taught she was only playing with him...
And I was unpacking the things with him that he left for me to "clean" after coming back from Korea...
Then...
The moment I turn my back to see what is Baby King doing...
I saw her carrying him away from the bed and I was looking at her...
She looked back...
She looked at me and tole me that her mother wanted to play with Baby King...
I finally beh tahan say her : You want to take my son out you don't know how to ask first is it?
OMG!!!
That felt so great...
Then...
Without saying anything she left with Baby King...
Then I turned to my husband and say...
Your mother want to play with the grandson she don't know come and carry him ah?
My husband just diam diam at there...
If you asked for permission and if the condition allows...
Sure I will let you do whatever you want...

This makes me remember of another incident...
I borrowed my camera to Lun to take pictures in Korea...
And I don't know and don't want to know about it...
He left the camera in his siblings house...
Then...
His parents went to take the camera...
Go take camera mai go take camera lor...
You take a on the process of recovering baby go for what?
I said NO already but they still bring him out...
Plus it is raining some more...
I was angry and posted my feeling in FB on purpose...
No offense of saying this...
But I am seriously lack of words to describe them...
Except for...
NO BRAIN!!!

Okay...
So long for now...
Expressed all the anger and boy it feels better...
So long for now...
Wish me luck for the future with no worries...
Wish me luck for the future that I can have my own house... =)

NEW LIFE = NIGHTMARE (Part Seven)

Today...
I am seriously very unhappy when Ms Beh break the news to me...
I feel like crying...

Ms Beh told me that I'm BARRED from my HHR final exam...
I was in schocked!
So am I now...
Still not believing that I had been BARRED from exam...

For most of the reasons that I skipped the class is because I woke up late...
Due to need to take care of baby King, do homework, do assignment, work and tidy up the room until late night...
Plus...
Every morning I need to call him up like a thousands of times...
I know that he is very tired...
But there is nothing much that can do when you don't have a car for me to bring baby King to the baby sitter...
Well...
No matter he is in the afternoon shift or in the morning shift...
He also had to get up early to send baby King to the baby sitter...
And there is sometimes that I am in the morning class and he was in the afternoon shift...
This situation is really making me CRAZY!!!

I'm getting a second thought on our marriage...
I would just like to leave...
I would just like to give up...
I am seriously very tired...
I am sorry...
What a woman got to do what a woman got to do...

Since I'm married...
My attendance record is not that good...
It's either LATE or ABSENT...
I want to make it right...
I want to move back to my mother's house...
I want to just FOCUS on my studies...
I want to just FOCUS on my baby King...
I want to just TAKE CARE of my family...
My mother espeacilly...
Doing a lot of part time in order to let us have a good life...
Since daddy died...
She had been a very very hard time on raising us...
I didn't even know that she had her heart surgery...
Every time I think about this...
I cried...
I am not there to accompany her...
I want to grab my chance to accompany her and do what I can to be by her side before it is too late...
Even now...
Baby King's diapers, food, toys, walker...
Whatever baby things you named it...
She pay for it...
NOT the father!!!

So the conclusion is...
I will be moving back to my house when he went to Korea for holiday for a week...
And I will go back to his house...
Because to me...
His house is like a HOSTEL to me...
I put my things there...
Have my shower...
I slept there...
And when the sun arise...
I'm out for the day...
Since is like that...
I am going to move back at least until I am graduate...
Otherwise...
He need to buy a house for the three of us to stay with...

NEW LIFE = NIGHTMARE (Part Six)

最近真的有如天跌下来的感觉；
不好的事情，
不好的感觉，
一连串的发生！

前天联络到屋主去看屋子
他因为做晚班
所以就有可能没办法去看
那他就提议说叫他爸陪我去看
当时的心情就是：
为什么每当我们小两口要做什么之前都要向他的父母说？
我是一个很注重私人空间的人，
我真的很不喜欢别人来插手我的家事！
除非我本人允许他人进入，
不然我对那些人会很反感！
可是他的父母就是这样，
爱管爱给意见！
他也是一个，
什么事都要告诉他父母，
什么事都要问他们意见！
到底我现在是嫁给你还是嫁给你父母？
你都这么大了，
有些事情应该可以自己做决定了，
为什么还要好像三岁小孩子一样，
“妈咪，我这样好不好？”
“爸爸，我可以买这个吗？”
我再这样忍下去总有一天会进精神病院！
我会受不了，
我会想不开，
我会去割手的！
我没有也放弃去插手你管你孩子的事情，
请你们可以不要介入我们小两口的世界吗？
你们有你们管孩子的方法，
孩子一两个星期不去上课也无所谓；
我有我的生活方式，
我不希望我儿子会像你们家的小孩那样！
我绝对会反对把儿子交给你们照顾！

说回当天看屋子的情形，
如果不是我妈咪叫我叫他们去看屋子，
我也懒得去理会他们，
妈咪好心去载他们一起去看屋子，
上车没有跟我妈咪打招呼，
照理说我妈咪是你们的长辈，
一句的问候你们都不可肯问，
那天还说我没家教，
那你们又如何？
这个场面就好像当我妈咪无道！
可恶！
过后他爸爸就开始打电话给他的朋友，
叫他朋友一起来看屋子也不说一声，
那么神秘做什么？

上到去那边，
看了那屋子，
又无声无声的自己跑下楼下去，
没有说一声！
都不知道什么人来的！
看完了，
我妈咪回家先，
而我就等他们跟他们一起回,
会去之前还坐在那边一段时间说废话，
明知道我不会听潮州话还要用潮州话来商量！
这算什么意思？

经过这件事，
我自己有了一个结论：
潮州人，特别麻烦，特别挑剔！

NEW LIFE = NIGHTMARE (Part Five)

Seriously...
I don't know what is wrong with this family...
Or should I say what is wrong with me?
I just DISLIKE everything they do recently...
Maybe because of the incident cause by his sister...

Here goes the story...
Well, his mother's situation is not that stable...
Because maybe he can't accept that her father passed away...
So, she is now in Penang for quite a time...

Before his grandfather passed away...
She was already getting a depression...
So, his father have no choice but to sent his wife home...
It means that the house left us three and them four...

It was okay...
I don't mind tidying up the house and doing some chores...
But, every time I do it...
I GUARANTEE you that it won't last a second...
The next thing you come back...
The house is a MESS again...
WTH!!!

When this happen...
I swear to God that I won't going to clean up the mess again...
Just let it be...
And all his father and brother did was say her...
No action at all...
Since like that...
So I thought...
Who am I to scold her?
Her family also don't want to bother anymore...
Why should I?
Waste my time and energy...
I just hope that my dearest son won't be like her...

And there was the other thing to pissed me off is that...
I really try very hard to forget it and forgive her...
But...
To tell you the truth...
I CAN'T!!!

The story starts on one day she went it to my room to play with Little King...
Then she saw the "SPONGE-BOB"(the thing to tie your hair in a different shape) packet...
Then, she asked that if she could borrow...
At first, I just IGNORE her and PRETEND I didn't heard her...
But she just kept asking...
And that ANNOYED me...
So I agreed to borrow her...
And give it back to me on Friday night...

On Friday night...
I saw the SPONGE-BOB was TIED to a racket...
And she was asleep in the living room...
I was like...
WTF...
A nice SPONGE-BOB...
And it was SUPPOSE TO BE ON YOUR HAIR NOT A RACKET!!!
I was seriously very angry that night...
And my hubby become the victim of my anger...
I'm sorry...

Because I had to work on Saturday...
So hubby bought me the SPONGE-BOB to let me tie my hair easily...
It was a surprise gift from him and it is very special to me...
And on that day...
When I wanted to use it...
I found it BROKEN...
DAMN!!!

I wake him up quickly...
And he become my victim again...
How am I supposed to go to work without it...
And as I mentioned...
This is a special gift from him...
How could she...
Until now, I'm so DAMN angry about it...
Even though that he bought me another new one...
But the original meaning wasn't there anymore...

After that...
I totally IGNORE her...
And won't let her play with Little King...
I am cruel I know...
But when you mess with me and didn't even apologize...
There's your consequences!!!

After that...
On Monday...
Because she have school...
She went in to my room and take the SPONGE-BOB from my room herself early in the morning...
She must have thought that I didn't know...
I just don't want to waste my energy and scold her plus waking up my Little King...
And the way she act...
Reminds me again that...
What his mother said to me few months ago...
She said : " 你读了那么多年的书，你妈妈你老师就没有教你什么是道德吗？"
And look what her precious daughter DID...

I won't be able to forgive because I don't have a BIG heart...
And I won't be able to forget how you hurt my heart so DEEPLY...
I just hope that the SCAR you guys make won't get infected or get worst...

Here...
I feel deeply sorry that I didn't went back to be in mourning...
Because I can't left Little King alone with my mother again...
I don't want to trouble her so much...
Plus Little King is having fever because he had injection...
I need to take care of him...
I don't want to know how they feel or think...
Because it makes me feel guilty for not going back...
It makes me feel like I'm disrespect...

To dear Grandfather of Lun...
Although we didn't have so much time spending with each other...
But I think that you are a strong and a great man indeed...
Because you suffered from lots of illness...
Please do protect Big Lun and Little King with all your mighty powers...
Thank you...
We will be missing you...
Me and Little King will visit you whenever the time allows us to...

P/S : Given up to clean the mess that you guys made in the house...
It's time for you guys to realize that after making SHITS you have to clean it on your own...
By the way, looking for a NEW house and I hope I didn't as soon as possible...
And I found a NEW job...
It was home-based data entry...
Had to wait their calls...
Seriously hope that they call me as soon as possible...
Seriously need money for living... ><''

NEW LIFE = NIGHTMARE (Part Four)

Since this mother is not around...
I am actually according to them...
It's responsible for all the house chores...
Ya...
I know that I'm suppose to help out...
But shouldn't they help out a bit too?
Do I need to voice out every time?

It's been very very tired after school and work...
When reached home need to...
Sweep the floor...
Wipe the floor...
Wash the clothes...
Hang the clothes...
Wash dishes...
Put back everything to the right place that they left it just there after using it...
Some more...
At night need to take care of Hin Hin...
Luckily he sleeps until the next morning...

All this also never mind...
I can accept...
But something I really really can't accept what he had done to me this morning...

I won't forgive him no matter what...
Want to know what he did?

... ASK HIM!!! ...

After that...
He went to take his sister out to school...

Then...
When I woke up...
It's was 7.30am already...
It is considered late...
Because I haven't pack the things that was suppose to bring...

When I walked to the living room..
I saw him using my Lappie...
If he can opened means my password need to be change...
How can he do so?
Didn't his parents taught him that taking people's belongings without asking permission is wrong?
Know what he answered?
He said I DON'T LOVE HIM!

Does love equal to sex?
Does love means you have to give whatever the other half wants even you refuse to?
I don't think so...
In another words...
I OBJECT!!!

Since this is the case...
Then...
I rather DIVORCED...
And start a new life with my son...
I rather raise my son up by myself than counting on him or his family...
And there is a problem if I'm really going to DIVORCED...
He said he want Hin Hin...

What can I do?
God-Brother suggested that don't think any more...
Finish my studies while earn some money for my own if anything happened...
After that only see how and what to do...

This means that I had to be EXTREMELY patient for this two years...
ISH ISH ISH!!!

Am planning to record whatever they did wrong on here...
And if I decided to go...
I am going to write a list of this shits out on a paper...
And just leave the letter there...
And take Hin Hin out of the house and NEVER EVER come back...

Just by thinking of it makes me excited and very the DAMN happy... ^^

NEW LIFE = NIGHTMARE (Part Three)

For some reason...
Well...
The doctor didn't really know what is wrong also...
Most probably is cause by DEPRESSION...
His mother went in to hospital few days ago...

Went to visit her yesterday...
She was totally like a dead person lying on the bed...
Don't want to eat...
But luckily got drink some water...
Have high fever some more...

Since her condition was that bad...
So I had to sent Hin Hin to the baby sitter...
Because no one it's free to look after Hin Hin...

Before she went in to the hospital...
She was also like a nearly dead person...
She refuse to eat...
She would suddenly woke up and say want to take care of Hin Hin...

There's one time that she suddenly woke up...
And came out of the bedroom...
Sat on the floor and hug Hin Hin...
Then after I went to the kitchen to take water...
She had took Hin Hin to the bedroom...
Then I call him to take back Hin Hin...
But she refuse to give Hin Hin back..
She held Hin Hin so tight and Hin Hin cried...
I can't stand it anymore...
I went into the room and snatch Hin Hin back myself...
THIS IS SERIOUSLY WAY TOO SCARY!!!

I'm not going to let her take care of my son ever again...
Whether his family like it or not...

NEW LIFE = NIGHTMARE (Part Two)

I really don't understand that...
Why us women need to do all the chores...
While the men do nothing at all except entertaining themselves...

In Chinese there is one word state that...
Rules are DEAD and the people are ALIVE...
It means that RULES ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN!!!

And this is why his mother always screamed TIRED...
That day I was happy because I get to sat down and do nothing and get my 20 ringgit...
But, he SPOILED the whole thing...
He suddenly told me that I need to study and sometimes take care of Hin...
Asked me to quit the job and just concentrate on those two...

Have he ever think of what about my TPM fund?
Is he gong to pay?
It's another EXTRA EXPENSE...
Where is he going to get the money?
ISH!!! ><

There are other things that make me PISSED OFF today...
The story start from...

The whole family was going out after I went back home to hand over the camera to sis...
Only left the 3 of us (Hubby, Hin and Me)...

Later on, I switch on my LAPPIE and go online...
Not long after that, Hin was crying so I make a bottle of milk for him to drink...
Then, half way through Hin was drinking the milk...
They came back...

And his younger sister came in to see Hin as an excuse...
After that, not even a word...
She walked to my desk and started to sit down and play her Facebook...
I was like...
WTF!!!

I looked at my hubby and he didn’t say a thing too…
I remembered the “little talk” that we and his parents had the other night…
His mother said: “You study so many years and get so much education you don’t have MORAL want is it?”
I was truly angry when she said so…
What about her daughter?
NO MANNERS AT ALL!!!

Think before you say others…
My hubby didn’t even stand up for me for the whole conversation…
As if it is my entire fault!

At that moment, I know I can’t count on this family…
The other thing was…

I was kind enough to borrow my LAPPIE to both of his brother…
They should have known the rules of using my LAPPIE and when to switch it off…
They play until the next morning…
When I was about to pack my bag, I asked LAPPIE from them…
I was like WTH when I knew that they play the whole night…
And from that moment on…
I SWEAR THAT I WON’T EVER LET THEM PLAY MY LAPPIE AGAIN!!!

I cooled down very fast after that…
But when I reached college, open my LAPPIE…
I saw the battery was like only 10% left…
Then, my temper starts to light up again…
I taught I gave them the power supply…
How come my battery just left TEN PERCENT?
IT IS TOO MUCH!!!

P/S : The only thing I did wrong for my entire life is...
I never voice out my opinion and what I want every time things happened...

NEW LIFE = NIGHTMARE (Part One)

The reason I wanted to blog again...
It's because I need a place for me to express my feelings...
I usually express my feelings at facebook...
But...
There are too many relative on facebook...
So it means that no matter what I post they also will get to see it...
And maybe tell my IN-LAWS about it...
And FINALLY after the little talk that we had today...
The only thing in my mind was I WANT TO MOVE OUT!!!
And so I started to delete all the CHUAH's profile...
It feels good...
In fact...
GREAT!!! X)

After marriage...
I realize that the exterior of the family will always look good...
But the interior...
OMG!!!
Really can't stand it...

The problem to me was...
Mother-In-Law SPOILED their children very much...
During my pregnancy...
I still went to college...
Do my assignment...
And help to do some light house chores because some of the house chores they PANTANG pregnant lady to do...

I still remember that before I give birth...
She always tell me that Father-In-Law was late to deliver the food to her and she starved...
Because after a person gave birth and all the drama...
The person will be very tiring...
And need to eat to prevent the wind to go in...
At first I thought that...
She has been through she knows how it feels and she will prevent it happening to me...
Well...
I WAS WRONG!!!

I starved for quite a long time...
And because they PANTANG many things...
I can't eat the food that was ready from the hospital...
At last...
I starved and the wind got in my tummy...
And when the food prepared and arrived...
I had no appetite to eat already...
That is okay by me...
But...
When I told them that...
I got scolded...
And I had to force myself to eat...
ISH!!!